Story i wrote for a contest please read and tell me what you think (im 14 go easy on me.)?

(no stealing my story. I worked hard on it.)








It isn't fair. All I want is a friend. Someone who cares about me, and will tell me that everything is all right. Too bad a life like that is only good enough for people like my big sister, Nichole. She is everything to my parents. She's smart, pretty, athletic, and everything else a perfect daughter is. She is constantly being complimented on her long, silky blond hair and big, blue eyes. I can't stand it! The only difference in our looks is that she's older and has longer hair. She gets the royal treatment, and I get to be the little rat that lives in the cramped attic. I can barely fit a bed in my room. The only reason my parents treat me so badly is because some crazy lunatic burst into the room I was born in, and told my mom some absurd story about me being an evil child. Yeah, like that's true! After that my mom named me Dana, Dana Maria Collins. She hated that name. She once said that it suited me because I was hated by everyone. I hate my life. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to live my life day by day and hope it gets better.


"Dana. Dana! Dana get down here right now!"


I groaned inwardly. Why did my mother have to get me up at 4:00 A.M. every morning? I could do my chores when I got home. I mean, it's not like they let me be in any after school activities.


"Dana!" my mother screamed again, "You get your butt down here right now or I'll send your father up there to teach you a lesson!"


That got me up right away. The only person crueler than my mother was my father. He didn't want me from the beginning. He wanted my mom to get an abortion, and when he heard what that man said about me when I was born, there was no way he would ever see me as his daughter, let alone love me.


"Alright, I'm coming" I hollered as I ran down the steps.


"Well, it's about time you got down here!" She replied in a cold, cruel voice that could have made a grown man want to run for it.


"Alright what are my chores today" I said with little interest.


"Well, you can start out by doing everyone's laundry, making breakfast, making your sister’s lunch, fixing the heater in the basement, mopping the kitchen, sweeping the porch, vacuuming the rest of the house, and cleaning your sister’s room after she wakes up. I'll give you the rest of the list later. I'm going back to bed."


I sighed and said, "Alright"


"Excuse me?" she exclaimed as she looked at me expectantly.


I sighed again, "Yes ma'am."


As I walked up to my room to get my laundry I heard a faint rustling. I couldn't imagine what it could be. No one, besides my father, had set foot in my room since I had learned how to crawl. I was always expected to take care of myself. So, I figured the sound was just a mouse or something. I would have never guessed that it was actually the best thing that ever happened to me.


When I got into my room everything seemed the same. Same cramped room, same low ceiling that leaked when it rained, and same raggedy bed that was almost worse than sleeping on the floor. It never occurred to me that someone else might be in the room. When I reached over my bed to get the little basket of dirty clothes I heard someone sneeze. I immediately froze. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity just waiting to hear another sound. Finally I got fed up with waiting.


"I know someone's in here," I said in a panicked voice, "come out now or else."


All of a sudden something grabbed my leg from under my bed. I screamed as loud as I could. I didn't care what my parents thought. I was scared to death!


"Ssssshhhh…. Be quiet. Do you want to get in trouble?" a mysterious voice whispered from under my bed.


"Wh…w...who are you?" I stammered as a boy with short brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes climbed out from under the bed.


"Tyler Anderson's my name. I'm your new neighbor. Sorry about sneaking into your room, but when I heard that there was a kid the same age as me in the neighborhood I just had to check it out. What's your name?"


"I'm Dana. Are you 13 years old, too?"


"Yep, I sure am."


"Cool…, but you should probably get out of here."


"Why is that?"


"If someone sees you talking to me the whole town will shun you."


"So, what's your point?"


"Don't you want to make friends?"


"I'm ok as long as I have one close friend, and I'd like you to be that friend."


"Ok, but we have to keep it a secret. By the way, how'd you get in here?"


"Like this…," Tyler walked over to one of the walls and pressed on it. A small part of the wall lifted up and a small staircase was revealed. I was amazed. It was perfect for sneaking in and out of the house.


Then Tyler turned to me and said, "You know what? You're pretty cool." Then he smiled and closed the secret staircase.


My face turned beat red. "Uummm…thanks, you too."


So we talked for a while. He told me all about himself. He had an older sister, too, but he said that they were treated as equals. How I wish I could live as Nichole's equal.


"So what's your life like? How come you don't have any other friends?"


I was glad he considered us friends. I told him about the day I was born, and about all of the horrible things I was forced to do in the past. He frowned the whole time.


"You deserve better than that Dana. I promise that someday I'm going to get you out of here."


It meant a lot to hear him say that. It had only been an hour or two since I met him, and yet it seemed like we had been friends for years. "Thanks Tyler," I whispered, "thanks for everything." He smiled and nodded as he silently entered the secret staircase. I closed the entrance behind him, grabbed my dirty laundry, and went to do my chores.


Everyday after that, Tyler came back at 4:15 A.M. There were a few close calls where we had gotten a little too loud, and my father had threatened to come up to my room. One time Tyler asked what would happen if my father did come up there. It was a topic I didn't like to talk about, but I told him anyway. Usually my father yelled at me, backed me into a corner, and then walked away. There had been one time, however, when he had struck me, but my sister said that it had been my fault.


Everyday when Tyler left he would whisper "Soon, Dana, I promise." I really hoped that it was true.


On my 14th birthday, January 18, 2007, Tyler came into my room with a big grin on his face.


"Happy Birthday Dana!" he almost shouted.


I giggled slightly, "Thank you, Tyler." He was the only person in the world who could make me laugh.


"Guess where I'm going to take you for your birthday." He asked anxiously.


"Ok, where?" I responded obviously confused.


"I'm taking you over to my house for breakfast!" He exclaimed. He sounded extremely exited.


"To…your house?" I asked. I had always wanted to go to Tyler's house, but I was only allowed to leave the house for school, and to get groceries. It was my parents' biggest rule. I couldn't imagine what they would do if they found out I had broken it.


"Oh Tyler I would love to but…"


He cut me off saying, "But nothing. It's your birthday, and we're going to celebrate it whether your parents like it or not. It's a Saturday, Dana, we don't have school, so you have all day to do your chores. You can spare an hour or so."


"Well…I don't know…isn't it kind of early to be eating breakfast? It's only 4:30." I responded.


"That's why I'm going to come and get you later on. You said that the rest of your family goes out for breakfast on Saturdays around 8:00 A.M. I'll come and get you at 8:10, Ok?"


"Tyler…"


"Don't worry, Dana. It's going to be ok. I'll see you in a few hours," and with that he climbed into the secret staircase and went home. I closed the staircase behind him and sighed.


"I hope you’re right, Tyler," I whispered to myself as I went downstairs to start my chores.


I had just started doing the laundry when Nichole came and told me that our father wanted to talk to me.


"Why? What does Father want with me?" Father never wanted to talk to me. The only times I even existed in his eyes was when I was doing something wrong, and then he just yelled up the stairs for me to stop.


"I don't know," She replied with a smug smile on her face, "but it can't be good for you. Daddy better tell me what you did because if you did anything to any of my stuff you're going to be hearing from me, too."


"Yeah, yeah I always do" I murmured quietly as I turned and walked to my father's office. He was a very successful lawyer. The only person he wasn't usually too busy for was Nichole. Even mother got pushed aside, sometimes.


I knocked on the door of father's office and said, "Father, It's me, Dana. Nichole said that you would like to speak with me."


"Hurry up and get in here. I want to get this over with as soon as possible." He said in a gruff, manly voice. I silently walked into the room and stood in front of his desk. Once when I was little I had sat down in one of the chairs, and he had started yelling at me. He said that those chairs were for clients only, and that I should know better. I don't even dare to touch the chairs now.


"If you can't even do simple chores correctly, then I don't see the point of us housing and feeding you anymore!" he said abruptly.


"I don't understand father" I whispered.


"Yesterday you were told to make us lunches."


"I did make the…"


"Silence!" he yelled, "I know that you made the lunches. I'm not as stupid as you are. The problem is that you put peanut butter on my sandwich. I'm allergic to peanut butter!"


"I…you…you never told me that," I stammered as he glared at me.


"I shouldn't have to tell you things like that. You are responsible for figuring it out on your own. Now, if anything like this ever happens again you are going to wish that you were never born. Do I make myself clear?"


"Yes, sir" I said mumbled quietly.


"Now get out of my sight. I can't stand to look at you," he said with harsh voice. I walked out of the office quietly. I saw Nichole peek her head out of her room. She had a big grin on her face. I assumed that she was eavesdropping on the lecture I had just been given. I glanced at the large silver clock hanging in the hallway. It was 6:10. It would be another 2 hours before Tyler got here. I couldn't wait.


It seemed like 8:10 would never come, but it finally did. Nichole, Mother, and Father all left the house for breakfast at 8:00 A.M. sharp. As always they told me that they would be back at 10:00, and that if they found anything damaged or missing when they got home I would be severely punished. As soon as they pulled out of the driveway, I ran up to my room to brush my hair and wait for Tyler.


At last Tyler arrived. I was so happy to see him. I was still a little upset about my talk with Father. It seemed like he was always in a bad mood on my birthday, but he had never threatened me like that.


"What's up, Dana? Are you ok? You look a bit shaken." Tyler asked after he had gotten out of the secret stair case.


"It's nothing, Tyler. Don't worry about it." I replied. He had a doubtful look on his face, but he just nodded.


"You ready to go?" he asked after a minute.


"Are you sure this is a good idea Tyler?"


"Come on Dana, what could possibly go wrong? As long as you're back before 10:00, your parents will never know that you left"


"Ok, I guess you’re right. Let's get going," and with that we both entered the secret staircase.


As I walked into Tyler's house, I noticed that it was very different from mine. While my house looked boring and stiff, his looked fun and energetic. The walls were all painted bright colors, and there were several interesting paintings hung around the house.


"Did I ever tell you that my mom is an artist, Dana?" He asked as we walked through the living room. I simply shook my head no.


"You must be Dana!" I heard someone say with excitement as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. I looked up to see a woman that appeared to be in her late thirties. She had brown eyes like Tyler, and black hair. I assumed that she was his mother.


"Welcome to our home." She said as she smiled at me.


"Uummm, you must be Tyler's mother. It's nice to meet you Mrs. Anderson."


"You can call me Sherry, dear." She replied


"Yes ma'am." I whispered.


"Loosen up dear, I won't bite." Sherry said with an amused smile on her face. Tyler gave his mother a warning glance. I decided that it was time to change the subject.


"You have a beautiful home Mrs. Ander….I mean, Sherry."


"Thank you! Well, we should probably go get some food. You look starving." I smiled. I was quite hungry. On school days I ate right before I walked out the door, but on weekends I had to squeeze meals in when I was doing something like a load of laundry. There had been days when I didn't eat until that night after all my chores were done.


As they all sat down at the table, Sherry asked, "So Dana, How has your birthday been so far?" I didn't know what to say. Had Tyler told her about where he went every morning?


I was thankful when I heard Tyler say, "Uummm Mom, shouldn't you go wake sis up?"


"Oh yes, Julie will want to meet you too. We can talk more in a little bit Dana," and with that she walked out of the kitchen.


"Sorry about that," Tyler whispered.


"It's no problem. I just didn't know if you had told your mom that you come over every morning."


"She knows that we meet every morning, but she thinks that we go on a walk together before school. I haven't told her about how your family treats you because I didn't know if you would want her to know."


"It's not that I don't want her to know. I'm just afraid that she will either say something to my parents, or she won't want you to come and see me anymore." I didn't want to have to say goodbye to my only friend.


"My mom wouldn't tell us to stop hanging out. In fact she would probably try to encourage you to come over as much as you can, but for now well just keep it a secret." I nodded and smiled. Turning to my plate of food I began to eat hungrily.


A few minutes later Tyler's sister came into the room along with Sherry.


"How is your breakfast Dana? Do you need anything?" Sherry asked me with a smile.


"It's delicious! Thank you for inviting me." I replied


"Well when Tyler told me that you weren't going to celebrate your birthday I just had to do something." Sherry and Julie sat down at the table and began eating. Julie was a beautiful girl. She looked about 17 years old, the same age as my sister. She had beautiful shoulder length brown hair, and sapphire blue eyes.


"So…why weren't your parents throwing you party?" Julie asked as she took a drink of orange juice.


"Uummm…Well… I've never really celebrated my birthday."


"Is it something with your religion dear? If it is we don't have to make this a birthday party. It can just be a normal breakfast," Sherry questioned with a look of concern on her face.


"No it's not that. It's just…Until now I've never had any friends to invite to a party, so I never really saw the point of having one."


"Well from now you will be celebrating holidays with us," Sherry said with a grin. I smiled back at her and glanced over at Tyler. He had a smile on his face too. For the first time in my life I felt at home.


After breakfast, we all went into the living room. I was shocked when Julie placed a present in front of me.


"What's this?" I asked as I picked up the small, rectangular box.


"Open it and you'll find out" Tyler said excitedly. I slowly began to rip the pink rapping paper off. Under it was a velvet box. When I opened the box I gasped. Inside was a necklace. It was a very simple necklace, but I still thought it was gorgeous. The necklace was a golden heart with a small ruby diamond in the middle that hung from a golden chain. I was speechless.


"Tyler picked it out himself," Sherry said with a smile on her face.


"I had some help from Julie." Tyler said as he blushed crimson red.


"Thank you so much everyone," I whispered, "This means a lot to me." We all talked for a while longer. Julie had seemed very quiet at first, but as we started talking I really began to like her. While Tyler was talking to Sherry I quietly asked Julie where her father was. A sad expression crossed her face.


"Our Father died not too long before we moved here." She whispered.


"Oh…I'm so sorry." I whispered back. The last thing I wanted to do was upset them. They had been so kind to me.


"Don't worry about it," Julie said as a smile replaced the frown. I was about to ask her another question when I spotted the baby blue clock hanging above the doorway going into the kitchen. It was 9:56.


I turned to Tyler, "Tyler I think its time for me to go." I say to him as I stood up.


He nodded, but Sherry said, "There's no need to rush of, Dana, why don't you hang around a little longer. I'm sure your parents wont mind."


"I would love to Sherry, but I have to be home by 10:00, so I better go." I said as I headed for the door.


"I'll walk you home," Tyler said walking right behind me.


I nodded, "Thank you for having me over," I say as I walk out the door.


"You come back soon, dear. You are always welcome here." I heard Sherry say as Tyler closed the door behind us. As I turned around to head home, I looked down the street only to see my family driving down the road. I grabbed Tyler's arm and yanked him behind the bushes in front of his house. My heart was beating a mile a minute. We sat there silently until my Mother, Father, and Nichole entered the house. Then we sprinted across the street and over to the entrance of the secret staircase.


"I can go the rest of the way by myself," I say breathlessly as I enter the secret staircase.


"Good luck," I hear him whisper as he closes the entrance behind me. I scrambled up the staircase as I heard my father yelling for me to come downstairs or he was coming up. As I climbed out of the staircase and closed the entrance in my room, I heard my father start climbing the stairs to get to my room. I swung my bedroom door open right as he got to the top of the stairs.


"I'm sorry for not responding father, I was just…"


He cut me off by yelling, "How dare you disobey me! When I call for you, I expect you to come no matter what you're doing."


"Please forgive me father I…," he held his hand up to silence me.


"I am so close to just…," He stopped suddenly, "Never mind… you are nothing but a burden! Now go do your chores."


"Yes sir," I whisper as I quickly walk down the stairs to begin dusting the house and scrubbing the floors.


The next day Tyler hurried into my room. He looked incredibly relieved to see me.


"You're wearing it!" He whispered with a smile. I followed his gaze to my neck. Around it was the necklace that he and his family had given me the day before.


"Yep, I am, but I have to take it off when I'm not up here alone. If my parents see it they are going to know that I broke one of their rules."


"Did you get caught, yesterday? He asked as a concerned looked appeared on his face.


"They didn't find out that I left, but I did get a stern yelling from my father for not responding when he called me."


"Next time we'll just have to make sure you leave my house at least 15 minutes before your parents get home.


"Next time?" I asked obviously shocked. Did he really think that I was going to risk getting caught again?


"Yeah my mom said that you can come over anytime you want to." He said as he grinned at me.


"We'll see," I said. We talked for a while, and then he went home. After closing the entrance to the secret staircase I headed downstairs to see what mother wanted me to do.


For the next couple months I went to Tyler's house every Saturday for breakfast. It was so much fun! We played games, and told each other stories. Once I got to help Julie pick the fabric that she was going to make a dress out of. She was going to a big party soon. I had never seen so many sublime fabrics. Sherry said that fabrics were like people. Each one was unique. She said that our personality and the choices we make determine what fabric we are. I wonder if that applies to me as well.


"Ready to go, Dana?" Tyler asked me as he opened the secret staircase.


I finished tying my right shoe as I said, "Yep, I'm all set. Let's go!" We walked across the street to Tyler's house just like we did every Saturday morning. As I entered his house, I was greeted by the sweet smell of pancakes and sausages just like always. Julie and Sherry came out of the kitchen to greet us as we walked into the living room.


"You're right on time, Dana." Sherry said smiling, "We just put the food on the table."


"It's your turn to pick the game that we play, Dana." Julie said happily.


"I think I'll choose…"I froze instantly. This couldn't be happening. As I looked through the big window in the living room I saw the one thing I had feared over the past couple months. My parents' car was in the driveway and the lights in the house had been turned on.


"This is bad," I whispered as to myself. Unfortunately Sherry heard me.


"What's wrong, Dana?" She asked in a concerned voice.


"I…I'm sorry…I have to go," I was petrified! Had father noticed that I wasn't there? What would happen if he did? This was bad, very bad!


"Dana what's…Oh no!" Tyler said as he dashed into the living room and glanced through the window.


"Ok what is going on?" Julie demanded. The whole situation was clearly confusing and worrying her.


"Uummm…well…I…" I stammered.


"Whatever it is dear, I'm sure it's not that bad. You can tell us," Sherry said soothingly.


I hesitated but finally said, "My parents don't know that I've been coming here every Saturday. They take my sister out for breakfast every Saturday morning. They get home at 10:00 exactly. That's why I always have to be home by then, but…but…they came home early. Who knows what they'll do when they find out." I shuddered just thinking of all the possibilities.


"Now, now I'm sure your parents will understand." Julie said coming over beside me.


Tears stung my eyes as I hear Tyler say, "That's the problem. They won't understand. The only time Dana is allowed to leave the house is when she is going to school, or getting groceries." Tyler's eyes held the same fear and panic that I knew mine did.


I looked up suddenly and said, "Maybe they haven't noticed that I'm missing yet. If I hurry I might make it in time." I doubted that was true, but I hoped that it would convince them. This was my problem. I am the one who decided to sneak out of the house. I could see no reason to get them involved.


They all looked skeptical, but Sherry replied, "It's worth a shot." I nodded silently and with that I was off. I bolted across the street and up the secret staircase. While closing it I heard my father yelling downstairs.


"Where is that incompetent brat? She has crossed the line this time."


I quickly picked up some dirty laundry on the floor and scurried down the steps.


"Mother, Father, is that you?" I called as I entered the living room.


"You!" They both screamed in unison


"How dare you leave this house! I warned you not to disobey us! Now you're going to be sorry," Father roared.


"Wait Father I..," I tried to say, but the look on his face showed the cold, hard truth of the situation. There was no getting out of this.


"I have fed you, given you a place to live, and even let you go to school! All I ever asked of you was for you to stay in the house, and do some simple chores. Instead you deliberately break all of my rules, and then try to get out of it with that little whimpering, whiney voice of yours." Father spat out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mother scurrying out of the room. Nichole followed her with a smug look on her face.


"Father, I'm begging you. Please for…" I suddenly felt myself being shoved against the wall. Father had one hand on each of my shoulders. His eyes were filled with such hatred, and disgust. The thing that I hated the most was the fact that all of that hatred was aimed directly at me.


I shuddered as Father's grip on me tightened. In the next instant I felt myself being thrown to the ground. A sharp, throbbing pain engulfed my lower arm as I hit the hard, wooden floor. Struggling to my feet I tried to figure out what I should do. My mind was telling me to scream at the top of my lungs and pray that someone heard it, but my mouth wouldn't make any words. The only thing I could do was slowly creep backwards as Father inched closer to me.


"I knew you were trouble the moment you were conceived! It's time that I took responsibility for letting you be born." Father mumbled before lunging at me. I was tackled to the ground with such a great force that the wind was knocked out of me for a moment. Kicking and thrashing was all that I could do while Father tried to strangle me. My thoughts were slurred and mixed together. The only thought in my head that was clear was that this was the end. Father was finally going to do it. He was going to get rid of me once and for all. All of a sudden I heard footsteps on the stairs. Had mother or Nichole snuck up there to watch? I watched Father raise his hand to strike me when another pair of hands grasped onto his. I was dumbfounded! Who could it be? In the distance I heard police sirens. Could it be? Had someone heard the commotion, and decided to call the cops?


Sitting up, I glanced at the face of my rescuer. I was shocked to find that the person holding my fathers arm back was Tyler!


"You ok, Dana?" Tyler asked. I simply nodded. I was too tired and confused to speak. A moment later the police barged into the house. By then both Mother and Nichole had joined us in the living room. Both of them had ghostly white faces. Father had sunk down on the floor. The police had taken over by then, so Tyler was able to release his hand. A look of shame and defeat had crept onto his face. The rest of the afternoon was mostly a blur. Apparently Tyler had decided to sneak into the house and make sure I was ok. When he heard the racket downstairs he had used his cell phone to call the police and Sherry. When he talked to Sherry, she had told him to stay put until the police arrived, but when he saw what Father was doing he couldn't just sit there. The police interviewed each of us and then they took Mother, Father, and Nichole downtown for further questioning. After a medic looked at me, and said I just had a sprained wrist from being shoved around so much, I went over to Tyler's house to spend the night. One of the officers, Officer Groundling, said that he would stop by with a full report tomorrow afternoon. Getting into the bed that had been prepared for me, I said goodnight to everyone. I thanked them all before they walked into their own bedrooms. Gently, I lie down, and let myself be consumed by sleep.


"Dana, it's time to get up dear," Sherry whispered startling me out of a dreamless sleep.


"Just let her sleep, Mom," I heard Tyler say in the background, "She had a rough day yesterday."


"It's ok, I'm awake," I said groggily while sitting up.


"I've got breakfast ready if you're hungry. Nothing is better than a good breakfast." Sherry said while walking towards the door.


"Ok thanks!" I said. I stood up, stretched for a minute, got dressed, and went into the kitchen. The breakfast was marvelous! We had scrambled eggs, biscuits, toast, bacon, and apple juice. We all laughed and joked through the whole meal, but I couldn't get my family out of my head. What if there wasn't enough evidence? What if I had to go back and live with them? What would they do to me?


"Dana, are you ok? Do you need anything?" Julie asked with a distressed look on her face.


"No, I'm fine," I said with a smile. We finished our meal around 10:30, so we all gathered around in the living room to play monopoly. About 15 minutes later Officer Groundling knocked on the door.


"Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is not only is your father, Mr. Collins going to jail for child abuse, but they are both loosing custody of you. That means you don't have to live with them anymore," Officer Groundling announced. I know I had a huge grin on my face.


"What's the bad news?" Tyler asked.


"Since we don't have any foster homes in the area you are going to have to live in the orphanage about 2 hours from here until someone agrees to take care of you. It's not the prettiest place on the planet, but it's better than the attic that you were living in." I couldn't believe it. 2 hours away! Were they really going to take me away from Tyler, Sherry, and Julie?


"We better get going," Officer Groundling said. In his eyes I could see that he didn't want to take me away from them either. It was clear that he had no choice. I went and got my things from both houses. Before I left I turned to the 3 people who had been so kind and friendly to me. They all had depressed looks on their faces.


"Well, I guess this is goodbye," I said as I turned to leave.


"Dana, wait," Tyler said as he grabbed my arm.


"Tyler…" I began, but he cut me off.


"This isn't goodbye. I'll see you again soon, I promise." I smiled at him, but said nothing. Quickly I turned and followed Officer Groundling out to his car. I didn't want Tyler, or the rest of his family, to see the tears that were about to fall from my eyes.


It was a long 2 hour drive to the orphanage. When we got there, the first thing I noticed was how melancholic it looked. The grey, brick walls of the building looked as if they could collapse at any time. The hinges on the scratched up, wooden door looked rusted and ancient. A few children were sitting on the steps that led up to the door. They were wearing ragged clothes that looked like they had never been washed. Officer Groundling led the way into the run-down orphanage with a scowl on his face.


"I really hate to leave you here, but I don't have much of a choice," Officer Groundling said when he was about to leave, "I can assure you that Ms. Summerland will take good care of you." I glanced over at the woman that he was gesturing to. She looked as old and run down as the building was, but her eyes held kindness and compassion. Maybe she was alright after all.


I spent the rest of the afternoon learning the rules, being introduced to all the other children, and doing simple chores. I had to admit it wasn't nearly as bad as living with Mother and Father had been, but I still missed Tyler, Sherry, and Julie.


The next day I was called to Ms. Summerland's office after breakfast. I wondered what I had done wrong. Memories of the day that Father had called me to his office flashed through my head. Had I done a chore wrong were they kicking me out on the street?


"Ms. Summerland? It's Dana Collins. You asked to speak with me." I whispered after knocking on the door. I waited for her to yell at me and tell me to get my butt in there, but she simply said to please come in.


"Uummm did I do something wrong ma'am?" I asked. I could feel my hands trembling.


"Of course not, why would you think that? I just wanted to tell you that your new family will be here to pick you up in 1 hour." She responded with a gentle smile on her face.


"What do you mean my new family? Officer Groundling said that they didn't have anyone for me to go and live with."


"They didn't, but last night not long after your arrival we got a call from a family that said they would love to adopt you. You're going to have 1 brother that's about your age, a 17 year old sister, and a mother that's in her late thirties." I was so excited! I was going to have a real family. The best part of it was that they had called specifically for me! I instantly ran into the girl's quarters to pack up my belongings.


About an hour later Ms. Summerland escorted me outside. I was about to meet my new family. The bright sunlight outside temporarily blinded me, but when I was able to see again I could scarcely believe my eyes. There standing in front of me was Sherry, Julie, and Tyler with big grins on their faces.


"But how…," was all that I could say.


"I told you that this wouldn't be the last time we see each other," Tyler said with a mischievous grin on his face.


"It only took us about 15 seconds to realize that none of us wanted you to leave," Julie stated.


"So we decided that the simplest solution was for you to join our family," Sherry finished as they all walked up to me. Tears stung my eyes as I hugged them all one by one.


"Thank you," I whispered as we all got into the car and drove home.


I became part of the family. I was given my own room, Sherry bought me a whole new wardrobe, and I lived at their house permanently. The thing that made me the happiest, though, was the fact that I wasn't Dana Maria Collins anymore. I was Dana Maria Anderson. I finally had a family. For the first in my life I knew I was where I belonged.

Story i wrote for a contest please read and tell me what you think (im 14 go easy on me.)?
Holy COW! For fourteen, that's amazing composition. I say, you're definitely college bound. I'd actually give you credit for Freshman Composition I based on that story alone. One minor word that I noticed was "loosing" in "losing custody of you," but even the best writers have to pay editors to fix their work. Did I say, AMAZING? Let me know when you're rich and famous! I was wondering where your inspiration came from...I guess we'll see your story on Oprah someday.
Reply:Wow!!! you will be a famous writer someday and i know that is the truth. I only have one question for you though. Is this a true story about you? i hope it isn't but it seems very peculiar as a random topic. but at least if it is then now you have a loving family. Report It

Reply:i dont get it Report It

Reply:Great use of language! You have a lot of skill, and I would recommend you look into writing professionally. I really enjoyed it.
Reply:Truly Amazing =D
Reply:OMG! i must have took you a long time to write it, its detailed, interesting, and fun. You will so win in the contest, but there is a few errors. BUT TOTALLY AWSOME!!!
Reply:wow that was a lot to read and must have tooken you a lot of time to write it.


it was a good story and i didnt see errors in it


i hope you win this contest because it really was a good story



car makes