Just after partition of 1947 Jinnah came to Lahore first time. A huge public meeting was organised in the Lahore University Ground. He stood up the microphone to address illiterate grief stricken people. He only uttered "Brothers %26amp; Sisters" and soon people start throwing shoes, oranges, sugar-canes, stick and stones at him.I heard shouts,"Maro Issay - Yeh Kafir Hai"(means he is non-muslim). "He is Farrangi Angrez (he could not speak Urdu) He is the one who has dislocated us, MARO ISSEY (kill him). On this the mob started rushing towards the stage and some in the front rows already climbed few stops on stage with open knives. On this the party members escorted him and drove off. We killed Gandhi and we were about to kill Jinnah. Now after 60 years when I see their pictures hanging in government offices in both countries I get preturbed and ask myself, did they deserve this treatment the nations gave them in return for their life long sacrifices? Should we have it done this way to kill?
Quaid-e-Azam Mohamad Ali Jinnah escaped killing by minutes. TRUE OR FALSE?
In a speech to the League in 1930, Sir Muhammad Iqbal mooted an independent state for Muslims in "northwest India." Choudhary Rahmat Ali published a pamphlet in 1933 advocating a state called "Pakistan". Following the failure to work with the Congress, Jinnah, who had embraced separate electorates and the exclusive right of the League to represent Muslims, was converted to the idea that Muslims needed a separate state to protect their rights. Jinnah came to believe that Muslims and Hindus were distinct nations, with unbridgeable differences—a view later known as the Two Nation Theory.[20] Jinnah declared that a united India would lead to the marginalization of Muslims, and eventually civil war between Hindus and Muslims. This change of view may have occurred through his correspondence with Iqbal, who was close to Jinnah.[21] In the session in Lahore in 1940, the Pakistan resolution was adopted as the main goal of the party. The resolution was rejected outright by the Congress, and criticised by many Muslim leaders like Maulana Abul Kalam Azad, Khan Abdul Ghaffar Khan, Syed Ab'ul Ala Maududi and the Jamaat-e-Islami. On July 26, 1943, Jinnah was stabbed and wounded by a member of the extremist Khaksars in an attempted assassination.
Jinnah founded Dawn in 1941—a major newspaper that helped him propagate the League's point of views. During the mission of British minister Stafford Cripps, Jinnah demanded parity between the number of Congress and League ministers, the League's exclusive right to appoint Muslims and a right for Muslim-majority provinces to secede, leading to the breakdown of talks. Jinnah supported the British effort in World War II, and opposed the Quit India movement. During this period, the League formed provincial governments and entered the central government. The League's influence increased in the Punjab after the death of Unionist leader Sikander Hyat Khan in 1942. Gandhi held talks fourteen times with Jinnah in Mumbai in 1944, about a united front—while talks failed, Gandhi's overtures to Jinnah increased the latter's standing with Muslims Through the 1940s, Jinnah suffered from tuberculosis; only his sister and a few others close to him were aware of his condition. In 1948, Jinnah's health began to falter, hindered further by the heavy workload that had fallen upon him following Pakistan's creation. Attempting to recuperate, he spent many months at his official retreat in Ziarat, but died on September 11, 1948 from a combination of tuberculosis and lung cancer. His funeral was followed by the construction of a massive mausoleum—Mazar-e-Quaid—in Karachi to honour him; official and military ceremonies are hosted there on special occasions.
Dina Wadia remained in India after partition, before ultimately settling in New York City. Jinnah's grandson, Nusli Wadia, is a prominent industrialist residing in Mumbai. In the 1963–1964 elections, Jinnah's sister Fatima Jinnah, known as Madar-e-Millat ("Mother of the Nation"), became the presidential candidate of a coalition of political parties that opposed the rule of President Ayub Khan, but lost the election. The Jinnah House in Malabar Hill, Mumbai is in the possession of the Government of India—its future is officially disputed.[43] Jinnah had personally requested Indian Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru to preserve the house and that one day he could return to Mumbai.[44] There are proposals for the house be offered to the Government of Pakistan to establish a consulate in the city, as a goodwill gesture, but Dina Wadia's family have laid claim to the property.
Reply:Possibly, personally I don't give a shite myself.
Reply:Yes they have always been a tolerant nation, seems like nothing has changed...when in doubt kill non believers....what a sad state of affairs in what could be a great nation, most of which is still illiterate.
nanny job
Monday, August 3, 2009
Know resourses to aid re-homing F3 bengal cat,???
hello:
i need a "forever home" for a loving, sweet, leash trained, fixed,
2 year old, male, micro chipped, 12 pound , F3 bengal cat.
*** he loves to play and re-arrange things in your house..., hides
shoes, ectra... loves to jump to your shoulders/back to rub heads,
sleeps at the foot of the bed, never any biting, scratching behavior
with anyone...
*** needs to be inside with a large, un-escapable area where be can play, eat grass or possibly climb a tree.
*** lives with another cat...met one dog when he was a kitten and they played together.
*** i've had him since he was 8 weeks old...[ from shelter where they had been told that he was a "brown tabby"]...
Know resourses to aid re-homing F3 bengal cat,???
An F3? Eeek. If it's from a shelter - how do you know it's F3?
Try petfinder - they have a classified section for private owners who need to give away their animals. Also, try the Bengal Rescue groups.
familiar faces
i need a "forever home" for a loving, sweet, leash trained, fixed,
2 year old, male, micro chipped, 12 pound , F3 bengal cat.
*** he loves to play and re-arrange things in your house..., hides
shoes, ectra... loves to jump to your shoulders/back to rub heads,
sleeps at the foot of the bed, never any biting, scratching behavior
with anyone...
*** needs to be inside with a large, un-escapable area where be can play, eat grass or possibly climb a tree.
*** lives with another cat...met one dog when he was a kitten and they played together.
*** i've had him since he was 8 weeks old...[ from shelter where they had been told that he was a "brown tabby"]...
Know resourses to aid re-homing F3 bengal cat,???
An F3? Eeek. If it's from a shelter - how do you know it's F3?
Try petfinder - they have a classified section for private owners who need to give away their animals. Also, try the Bengal Rescue groups.
familiar faces
What do you think of this poem, prose, story, whatever?
I think of you swinging in your grandmother’s back yard. Excitement %26amp; predictability combined: An autistic child’s favorite activity. It’s no wonder that some days you’d stay on the swings for hours. No giggles or smiles, but a look of deep concentration as if you are trying to defy physics with every swing.
But today, something apparently distracts you. Do you climb the fence on just a whim, or does something catch your eye?
But over you go and the adventure begins. Wading through the tall weeds, chasing grasshoppers that scatter with every step. Weaving through the fallen trees that would block an adults’ path.
At some point you hear a sound. The thrilling sound of trickling, gurgling, flowing water.
No longer are your steps random, but with great purpose you hike through the grass %26amp; find the creek.
Your shoes come off, then your socks and into the water you go. Following a school of fish, or maybe just the water’s flow when you step into the deep.
What do you think of this poem, prose, story, whatever?
I like this story because imagery is strong and the words you used cut right to the plot. I can tell you've done some good editing. I might suggest only a few things, and those are grammatical only.
Replace all ampersands (%26amp;) with the word 'and.' It smacks of amateurism. Do a spell check and then correct "with eye's as brown as your's" to read:
"with eyes as brown as yours." The words eyes and yours should not show possessive; they're merely in plural form.
Good job! You should continue writing.
Reply:Smart Kat,
Thanks for selecting my reply as best and giving it a four-star rating. I'll also look at your other poem you had mentioned in an e-mail--as soon as I can find it. Report It
Reply:This is a recurring theme I have nightmares about and I simply don't know if I could pick up the pieces as you apparently have done. I admire and respect your strength in the face of such an unfathomable loss. You are an incredible person! What a great role model you are to your daughter. =) Report It
Reply:Very good...Did you write this?
Reply:Oh my! That really got me. Good job.
Reply:its a story of the way we should all live our lives no fear because no matter what happens its for a reason there is no terrible accident waiting because nothing is terrible and autism might just be a better understanding then what wave lenghth we see things in there perception is much more in tuned then the rest
Reply:My opinion is that it is poetic prose, but that's not the important thing about it. It is sincere and you have found words that pretty well match your meaning and feelings, which are the important things about writing anything.
Reply:Well Kat, I don't think it was grammatical corrections you were after here, although you got some of that too!
Your story struck me on two levels. First, earlier this summer a little 3 year-old boy drowned in the Fox river nearby. I read about it in the newspaper and realized it was the same hyperactive little boy we had met at a recent minor league baseball game. He had walked away from his parents at the ballpark and was lost for 15 terrifying minutes. His mother was hysterical. Little more than a month later he apparently wandered into the river while his mother was briefly distracted... just as your story suggests.
Second, I have often wondered why these things happen? Why are some innocent lives lost before they've barely begun? I thought about this at the time of the drowning and now again as I read your story.
The only plausible answer is that there is more to the totality of a life than it's length and "measureable" accomplishments. There are also the unmeasureable accomplishments. That you and I write about these things, that others may be caused to think about their own purpose on earth, and that we understand and fear death a little less... these may have been the purpose of those two little boys, at the ballpark and on the swing.
Eventually, we will have made our lasting impressions on earth and then rest at peace and recapture our innocence... with whomever our brown-eyed father may be.
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But today, something apparently distracts you. Do you climb the fence on just a whim, or does something catch your eye?
But over you go and the adventure begins. Wading through the tall weeds, chasing grasshoppers that scatter with every step. Weaving through the fallen trees that would block an adults’ path.
At some point you hear a sound. The thrilling sound of trickling, gurgling, flowing water.
No longer are your steps random, but with great purpose you hike through the grass %26amp; find the creek.
Your shoes come off, then your socks and into the water you go. Following a school of fish, or maybe just the water’s flow when you step into the deep.
What do you think of this poem, prose, story, whatever?
I like this story because imagery is strong and the words you used cut right to the plot. I can tell you've done some good editing. I might suggest only a few things, and those are grammatical only.
Replace all ampersands (%26amp;) with the word 'and.' It smacks of amateurism. Do a spell check and then correct "with eye's as brown as your's" to read:
"with eyes as brown as yours." The words eyes and yours should not show possessive; they're merely in plural form.
Good job! You should continue writing.
Reply:Smart Kat,
Thanks for selecting my reply as best and giving it a four-star rating. I'll also look at your other poem you had mentioned in an e-mail--as soon as I can find it. Report It
Reply:This is a recurring theme I have nightmares about and I simply don't know if I could pick up the pieces as you apparently have done. I admire and respect your strength in the face of such an unfathomable loss. You are an incredible person! What a great role model you are to your daughter. =) Report It
Reply:Very good...Did you write this?
Reply:Oh my! That really got me. Good job.
Reply:its a story of the way we should all live our lives no fear because no matter what happens its for a reason there is no terrible accident waiting because nothing is terrible and autism might just be a better understanding then what wave lenghth we see things in there perception is much more in tuned then the rest
Reply:My opinion is that it is poetic prose, but that's not the important thing about it. It is sincere and you have found words that pretty well match your meaning and feelings, which are the important things about writing anything.
Reply:Well Kat, I don't think it was grammatical corrections you were after here, although you got some of that too!
Your story struck me on two levels. First, earlier this summer a little 3 year-old boy drowned in the Fox river nearby. I read about it in the newspaper and realized it was the same hyperactive little boy we had met at a recent minor league baseball game. He had walked away from his parents at the ballpark and was lost for 15 terrifying minutes. His mother was hysterical. Little more than a month later he apparently wandered into the river while his mother was briefly distracted... just as your story suggests.
Second, I have often wondered why these things happen? Why are some innocent lives lost before they've barely begun? I thought about this at the time of the drowning and now again as I read your story.
The only plausible answer is that there is more to the totality of a life than it's length and "measureable" accomplishments. There are also the unmeasureable accomplishments. That you and I write about these things, that others may be caused to think about their own purpose on earth, and that we understand and fear death a little less... these may have been the purpose of those two little boys, at the ballpark and on the swing.
Eventually, we will have made our lasting impressions on earth and then rest at peace and recapture our innocence... with whomever our brown-eyed father may be.
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Does Anyone Else Have This Problem???
When I was a kid my parents never let us have pets. They kept a relatively clean house and always refused to put up with the mess that animals make; also, my brother and I were bad enough. I always complained that I wanted a pet and couldn't understand Mom and Dad's logic against it -- until now. Today, as an adult in a house full of filthy animals, I see my parents' point of view.
My wife is a big animal lover and has passed this trait to our nine-year-old daughter. To date we have one dog, three cats, two birds, one hamster, and nine goldfish. At one time we had four birds and twelve hamsters. At the time I started to cohabitate with my wife -- about ten years ago, when I was thirty-two -- she had only two cats and two birds, and I think my stepson had hamsters or mice. Other than the occasional cat hair in the butter dish or skidmarks on my pillowcase, I tolerated the mess. (Being in a new relationship, one doesn't always ***** and complain a lot if one wants to get laid.) I think the first time I lost it was when my wife hung the birdcage from the kitchen ceiling and the birds would flutter around, their feathers, food, and fecal matter leaving the cage and landing wherever... sometimes in the dinner I was ready to eat.
But that was nothing compared with my life these days. And it's not only the freaky fecal episodes of the animals that bother me. Growing up, the only time I experienced fecal matter in the house was in the bathroom. Today I experience it everywhere. I'm no angel, and I will admit that living with my gas attacks is no picnic, and that I can destroy a toilet with the best of them; but my wife and my daughter and the all the animals are driving me nuts.
The Wife. A lot of women are shy about shitting and farting in front of others, especially their significant other. I once dated a girl for five years and never recall hearing her fart; I don't think she ever dropped a load. I like that sort of woman. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy a good tale from a female, but I prefer the woman I live with and **** to be fecal free. Well, after over ten years together, my wife has no shame in ripping massive farts and leaving skid marks on the toilet seat; and believe me, she can stink up a bathroom as good as any man.
The Child. A few years back I told P how my wife was always the one on cleanup detail after our daughter dropped a loaf. Our daughter is now nine years old and finally she wipes her own ***; but she will only use wet wipes. Since we don't want a garbage can full of stinky, ****-crusted wipes, we buy the "flushable wipes," and those suckers ain't cheap. This damn wet wipe addiction is forcing my daughter into a life of Shameful Shitting. It seems that nearly every time I pick her up from school she wants to rush home immediately due to the fact that she was been "holding it" all day. She just refuses to use the dry toilet paper at school. I love the child and want her to be happy, but I have certainly survived using dry paper for over forty years... and those flushable wet wipes are expensive...
The Dog. Dixie, our four-year-old sheltie, rarely has an accident. I can't remember the last time she **** in the house -- probably not since she was a pup. This dog can really hold a load and has an iron bladder; I've witnessed her go up to eighteen hours without pissing. My problem with the dog is that she shits ALL OVER the yard. Instead of squatting and dropping a pile, Dixie will drop a nugget, move a foot, drop a nugget, move a foot, and continue this up to twenty times per defecation. The dog spends a fair amount of time outside and when she sees a stranger or hears something odd she will run around like a maniac, galloping through her own ****, mud, and whatever else is on the ground. The dog will then come into the house, run on the carpet, and jump on the furniture and the beds with her dookie-covered paws. What burns me is that my wife has the nerve to ***** me out if I walk on the carpet with my shoes on -- even after I wiped them. The only other thing about this dog is that Dixie is a cat **** eater. I have on occasion caught her with her head in the litter box. We feed the dog well, but I guess kitty poop is a doggie delicacy.
Cat One. Max is fourteen years old, blind, and has chronic diarrhea. The vet told my wife four years ago to put Max to sleep and out of his misery; but the wife just won't submit. This cat can really blast *** -- once he shot a watery load all over the side of the dryer about two feet from the ground. This cat shits and pukes everywhere. He tries to make it to the litter box but often he "craps out" or gets confused. About a month ago my wife spent $700 on a new living room chair that has now become Max's favorite spot to sleep. I have witnessed him use the litter box and immediately head for this new chair, his *** hair crusted in liquid poop. The cat also uses the new chair as a scratching post and has already frayed several threads.
Cat Two. Ziggy is an outdoor cat. He only has three legs -- he lost a front leg to cancer about four years ago. He can still kill birds and moles and he gets in his share of raccoon fights... he is a tough old bastard. Everyone in the neighborhood feeds him; he will disappear for up to five days at a time and come home happy and well fed. Since the cat is getting older my wife tries to keep Ziggy inside, especially during bad weather, but the cat will let out this ******* annoying cry and scratch at the door. If that doesn't work, Ziggy has a trick that will surely gets us to boot his *** outside: he will shamelessly **** in front of us. Many a time my wife has insisted on keeping Ziggy inside for his own good, like after he gets his *** kicked by a raccoon. This makes the cat rebel and the rotten prick will walk right up to us, perhaps when we are watching the tube, look us dead in the eye, and blatantly drop a steaming pile.
Last year when we went on vacation we kept all three cats in the basement for a week. My stepson and parents came over daily to feed the cats. Ziggy shat all over the basement regularly and refused to use the litter box. My stepson told us that one day he stopped over and Ziggy made several attempts to get outside. After the cat gave up he lay down on his side, looked at my stepson, and just squeezed out a monster log.
Cat Three. Puss-Puss is only two years old and is still mischievous. My only problem with her is that she will use the litter box after Max paints it with diarrhea, and then she'll sit on the furniture with kitty litter and Max's dung all over her backside.
The Birds. As I said earlier, all kinds of crap flies from bird cages. We started out two years ago with one male canary, and that was tolerable. When the thing stopped singing my wife figured it was lonely. We bought an inexpensive companion -- a male finch. The two birds would fight regularly, so my wife bought another cage in order to separate the birds. Now we had two lonely birds. My wife's solution was to go out and buy a female canary and a female finch. We had to keep the cages at the highest point in the house -- on top of our five-foot-high entertainment center -- because Puss Puss desperately wants a bird to chomp on. So the top of the entertainment center, the television, and the DVD player -- not to mention the carpet -- is always littered with bird ****, birdseed, and feathers. Thankfully we managed to get rid of the finches, which cuts down on the mess.
The Hamster. The funniest and the grossest display in my house comes courtesy our hamster and his infamous Wheel of ****. I don't know if anyone is familiar with these newfangled cages in which the hamster exercise wheel is enclosed and on top of the cage. The hamster can climb through a tube to access the wheel, which is sealed except for a few air slits. Hamsters are filthy rodents that drop little turds constantly; needless to say, this wheel is crusted with a trail of smeared crap and the little ****** runs and runs and shits and shits. It is so ******* nasty and, especially at three AM, annoying. I just know fecal matter is flying through those air slits. We keep the hamster cage up next to the birdcage because the Puss Puss also wants that hamster for dinner.
I can't believe we haven't caught a weird disease living under these conditions. I panic if I see a fly in the house -- odds are it was just sitting on an animal turd minutes earlier. But I am outnumbered two to one in the household; so I guess I must learn to make all feces my friend, and try and enjoy my household of filth.
Does Anyone Else Have This Problem???
Holy crap, that was long!
Ok. Firstly sounds like your having some marital issues with the wife. It sounds like you feel that she has somehow tricked you into a relationship that you are now "stuck" in. As a female, I resent some of the wordage you used to describe the act of courtship as trying to get tale etc...
She appears to be just being who she has always been, an animal lover. She had pets when she met you after all. It's not like she said she hated animals then, after the I' do's said, "Oh and by the way..."
It also sounds like she is unaware that you are having such an issue with her bodily noises and habits. May be you could quietly and calmly with no cursing explain to her that there are some things that are making your life very uncomfortable.
We (Ladies) have a right to fart wherever we need to. Most of us try to be discreet. Explain to your wife as lovingly as you can that it really disturbs you that she rips them in front of you. She may not know that she is really bothering you. You can also try to explain that leaving "skid-marks" on the toilet gross you out. As for stinking up the bathroom, sorry- it happens, buy air freshener and move on.
The Child, you are enabling her to continue her dependance on wet wipes. STOP BUYING THEM. She will begin wiping using regular old toilet paper when she gets tired of having crusty butt. It's a phase and hopefully will be a short lived one. To me, it would be worth the extra laundry for a few weeks. Besides, holding your bowels for that long is not healthy!
The dog- Dixie. Best bet is to put your foot down and demand that she have her paws wiped off before coming inside. A quick wipe with a towel should ease your issues with her. She may not be able to help her deficating methods, it's not like she has a toilet seat to lean on. The best defence against her stepping in it is to scoop it up right away. You can do it yourself (have the child do it) or many communities have a company that will do it for you. Your wife may have never thought to wipe the dog's paws.
Max- Explain that the older cat is really not enjoying life anymore, be kind and understand that putting a pet to sleep is a hard choice to make. Point out how his life is no longer enjoyable, the diarrhea being blind/ deaf etc... You can also take him to the groomer and ask for a "sanitary cut" this will shave the long hairs around his nether region and make cleaning him up after an accident MUCH easier.
Ziggy- Sounds like you are ok with him as long as he's not on the injured list. When he has to be kept inside "for his own good" you might consider buying a large kennel and placing it in a covered spot outside. Give him a litter box, food and water dishes and a place to get warm (a closed cardboard box with a hole cut into with a towel inside works well.) This way he is outside, so if he does howel, you won't hear him and if he does poo outside the box, its very simple to cleanup.
Puss Puss- She cant help if she needs to poo and max has been there first. I would suggest having two boxes out, this will give her the option using a clean box. If max is put to sleep, then that ends that problem.
Birds- There is an item called a cage skirt. It wraps around the bottom 1/3rd of a cage and really helps cut down on the stuff that flies out of the cage. You can also, depending on how big the cage is, use an appropriate sized hook and hang the cage from the ceiling. This would enable you place the cage anywhere you deem acceptable.
Hamster- Nasty creatures I agree. Your family is probably too attached to get rid of it, so the best you can do is limit the mess. Look for a new cage one that has the wheel inside the cage proper. They do exist, I promise.
It sounds as if you are a borderline germaphobe, who is very uncomforatble living with this may animals. I would talk to your wife in as kind and honest a way as you can and explain that while you don't mind the animals, they need to be cleaned up after in a more timely manner. Keep Clorox wipes so that simple cleanups are a snap. Our dogs are not allowed on the bed, unles we invite them "up". It sounds like your dog might do well with a little training refresher, then you an use some of those cues to restrict her unwanted behaviour while in the house.
Good grief this took forever! Hope this helped a little!
Reply:man i admire your courage and all the energy it must have taken you to type this. i think a couple other people have that problem too. but what they dont have is the courage to keep up the care instead of booting them out on the street. what you should do is set some limits though. i dont mean locking them away forever. what i mean is compromise. talk to your wife and daughter. i mean come on, do the birds really have to be over the KITCHEN of all places. Next you need to do some serious potty training or else your house will drive people away, literally. start with your daughter. i mean she's nine. she can talk and reason with you here i mean, seriously wet wipes?i mean how far will THAT go? to college? what if she's boarding somewhere? you got to let her see that there are other kinds of toilet papers in the world. let her buy some with allowance and take it to school or something. as for your dog and cats, some re-training is in order. See if this helps:
http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com/Potty%2...
http://perfectpaws.com/train.html
Keep Dixie quiet when she's doing her thing and dont let her get distracted. if you want, take her for a walk everday and keep her on a leash so she can focus.
I'm sorry to say this but Max really needs to be put down, no questions asked. i know your wife loves him to death, but Max has lived a nice long happy life and it's time for him to move on. Some people actually end up making their pet's lives miserable by refusing to put them to sleep and it doesn't look like he (and you) aren't having the time of your life. He's losing body fluids and constant diarreha and puking are very painful for him.
As for Ziggy, get him neutered. It should make him calmer. if you can't litter box train him then you'll have to take him outside like a dog. You might want to fence him in. Oh and when you kick him out he might see that as a reward for doing his little trick for you. There might not be to much you can do for Ziggy but be strong anyway.
Puss-puss also needs to learn to use a litterbox without the odors of cats past. When she goes, make sure the box is clean. When she uses it by herself praise her. if it doesn't work get her her own litter box. There are self cleaning litter boxes also if you want one. And if you need get rid of the birds or shut them and the hamster in another room with newspapers or something on the floor to catch the droppings. they aren't helping the situation, and get her a toy instead.
As for the hamster, take the wheel out and get him tubes to crawl through instead. excersize without the mess.
Make sure you clean your house every month at least (and i mean a really thourough cleaning).
And as for the wife, please let her know that a clean home is a happy home for everyone. good luck ;)
Reply:You have a great knack with words, you should write a book. Bet you feel better getting it off your chest???You sound like you have a zoo! Only answer I have for you is to eat out a lot and to get professional cleaners to come in every once in a while. And then sit back and enjoy the entertainment.
Reply:I think this post had been better being posted in the relationships section. You need to speak to your family and make it clear, YOUR PETS, YOU CLEAN IT! Tell them ... and mean it... you and your pets suffer if the environment is not clean. No animal or person deserves that. Tell them, clean it regularly and daily at that... or more often as is needed or tell them you will take the animals away to the vet to have euthanased. Especially the one the vet said should have been years before. This is no way to keep a household, pets or a person. Sounded vile to me.
Hope you get some ship shape and bristol fashion cleaning done there soon for all your sakes.
Reply:dude i think you should clean up more often...but i do admire you, i love animals too, they are way better than kids and humans, not only that they will never turn against you!!!!!!
Reply:This one took a really, really long time to read. All I can really say is that your life sucks.
And you need to cut down the cursing.
Reply:Are your hands broken? Clean up all that ****.
BTW, shat is not a word.
Reply:In answer to your question, no I don't have that problem. We have a house full of animals too, but they are all extremely well behaved and tidy. And I worked damn long and hard to get them that way.
It is possible to be an animal lover and not live in a pig sty.
I'm sorry to say it, but this is your own fault, or did you forget that you're the man of the house and have a say in these matters? My husband and I are as equal as any two people can be in a marriage, but if he says to me, this is how it's going to be, then that's it. I respect him as the man of our house. For whatever reason, you don't have that and I suggest you work on getting it.
A man should not have to dread coming home. It should be a place of relaxation for you. Your wife needs to understand this. You, should spend a week in a hotel or something, so she can get the picture. This is not a funny situation and it seems to me like your wife and daughter think it is some big joke. It is not healthy for you or the animals to be living like this.
As for what you can do to help the situation, I would highly recommend having at least one litter box for each cat and spacing them throughout the house. It's sounding like at least one of them, is having difficulty getting to the box in time. Besides, cats will not use a dirty litter box, so keep up with the scooping or get a box that scoops for you.
My oldest cat, Nico had a serious problem with diarrhea for a long time, until I finally thought that he may need more fiber in his diet. He now gets a spoonful of canned pumpkin with every meal and hasn't had a runny poop since. This might help poor little Max as well, you never know.
I would get an animal trainer to your house (I mean, you can get one from Pet Smart and many other pet stores, plus your vet can probably refer you to one as well). Explain to them what's going on and work on how to fix it. You might not be able to fix everything, but enough should be able to be done to make your life enjoyable again. It sounds to me like your wife is getting all these animals before knowing how to properly care for them and an animal trainer will be able to help in this regard too.
This is an unacceptable situation that you're in and that's the bottom line. Even if you all haven't been sick yet, it's coming. Best to fix the situation before that happens.
Time to take back YOUR house.
Reply:LMFSO !!
I have 13 cats, 2 dogs, 1 bird, 1 lizard 3 tanks of fish and 4 teenagers in my house and it seems like a haven of peace and tranquility compared to yours !
You've really got to take control of this and nibble away at the problem a bit at a time instead of just suddenly going Basil on it.
For 3 cats you need at least 3 trays - they should be cleaned daily which will help to stop the cats tracking through each other's doings every time they pay a visit. Get the old cat to the vet and see what can be done - chronic diarrhea needs to be sen to.
The hamster wheel should be removed and soaked ( minus hamster of course) in warm soapy water and then scrubbed. This should be done regularly to avoid the threat of atomized hamster crap being sprayed around the room at high velocity.
You need to get a tray to go under the bird cage to catch the mess ( this also should be cleaned out daily.)
The yard needs to be kept ultra clean - I also had a dog that shat in installments and the only way to avoid getting it tracked in to the house is to clean the yard.
As for your child's fixation on wet wipes - provide norrmal toilet paper - if that's not god enough let her buy her wet wipes with her own pocket money.
BTW most people fart regardless of age sex or wealth - you must have just been leading a sheltered life.
Oddly enough living amongst all this has probably made you immune to most things going !
Hope you feel better now you've had your rant - I'll just go clean up that furball !
Reply:The only part I can help you with is the girl you dated who never dropped a load. Yes she did. She just didn't let you know it. I used to go to the gas station down the road when I slept over at my now husband's house. He actually asked me once why I never took a dump-he thought I was sick! As for the other, animal lovers are just that and I bet the animals will come first in a shootout. However, you could be in trouble if your home reaches filthy levels that the Humane Society gets involved. It's bad for yours and your animals's health to live in squaller. Better get everyone a bucket and some old rags and have Saturday "Fun Day" twice a month!
Reply:LOL, well I can't really help you with any of that but I much did enjoy the story!!
Reply:Oh, man. That sounds awful. Maybe I can help with one or two things. About the cat with horrible diarrhea. If he is having that much trouble, ask your wife to consider how Max is feeling. Diarrhea is painful. And he's throwing up too? His life must be hell. Really, if he has something you can't treat, why make him live with that? It's really being selfish to want to keep him around in that condition, rather than letting him be at peace. If you ask her to empathize with the cat rather than you, you may make headway. Second, with your daughter. As a mother of a headstrong 5 year old, I totally empathize with you. Does she get an allowance? Ask her to buy her wipes with her allowance and bring them to school with her. If she runs out, she'll just have to deal with it. Buy nice soft toilet paper for home, so it's as comfortable an alternative as possible. From there, you'll have to decide which will work better with her, asking her to handle her own dirty laundry when she doesn't wipe or throwing it out. As far as the birds and hamster are concerned, couldn't they be in separate rooms from the cats so they don't have to be so high? Put drop cloths under them to catch the feces. The outdoor cat: as far as he's concerned when he's inside you're imprisoning him without access to the toilet. He doesn't recognize the litter box as a litter box. Some people have reported success by putting dirt on top of the litter in the litter box. It feels like what he normally goes on so it may fool him. In multiple cat households you should have a litter box for each cat and one extra (in case you dont).
Reply:Goodness.
1. Scoop up the dog poop in the yard at least once every day. The dog can't track poop into the house if the yard is kept clean.
2. Scoop out the cat litter boxes every day. Clean them out completely every week or two. You probably need 2-3 litter boxes for 3 cats. If you're going out of town, your cat sitters need to clean out the litter boxes as well as feeding/watering.
3. The hamster's cage needs to be cleaned out weekly.
4. I don't know anything about birds, but it sounds like more frequent cage cleaning wouldn't hurt.
Reply:Whoa, this sounds like the small tip of the sh**berg! You need to have a family meeting and work out some of these issues constructively. That means don't get into a lot of finger pointing, name calling, etc. It sounds like you have a lot of issues and resentments towards your family and it's taking its form as a fecal rant. This won't get resolved unless all of you communicate better.
We have a lot of pets, too, and the entire family works together to make sure they are all clean, well fed, and happy. I know pets can be messy. Part of it may be that your family has too many animals in a small space. Also, birds and rodents are notoriously messy to keep. A fish tank might work out better for the family as long as the water is kept clean and healthy! At least the fish won't be taking a dump outside their aquarium.
Reply:I would try finding guards to keep the mess inside the cages you have ro find a cage that has guards.
http://www.qualitycage.com/sacages.html
credot
My wife is a big animal lover and has passed this trait to our nine-year-old daughter. To date we have one dog, three cats, two birds, one hamster, and nine goldfish. At one time we had four birds and twelve hamsters. At the time I started to cohabitate with my wife -- about ten years ago, when I was thirty-two -- she had only two cats and two birds, and I think my stepson had hamsters or mice. Other than the occasional cat hair in the butter dish or skidmarks on my pillowcase, I tolerated the mess. (Being in a new relationship, one doesn't always ***** and complain a lot if one wants to get laid.) I think the first time I lost it was when my wife hung the birdcage from the kitchen ceiling and the birds would flutter around, their feathers, food, and fecal matter leaving the cage and landing wherever... sometimes in the dinner I was ready to eat.
But that was nothing compared with my life these days. And it's not only the freaky fecal episodes of the animals that bother me. Growing up, the only time I experienced fecal matter in the house was in the bathroom. Today I experience it everywhere. I'm no angel, and I will admit that living with my gas attacks is no picnic, and that I can destroy a toilet with the best of them; but my wife and my daughter and the all the animals are driving me nuts.
The Wife. A lot of women are shy about shitting and farting in front of others, especially their significant other. I once dated a girl for five years and never recall hearing her fart; I don't think she ever dropped a load. I like that sort of woman. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy a good tale from a female, but I prefer the woman I live with and **** to be fecal free. Well, after over ten years together, my wife has no shame in ripping massive farts and leaving skid marks on the toilet seat; and believe me, she can stink up a bathroom as good as any man.
The Child. A few years back I told P how my wife was always the one on cleanup detail after our daughter dropped a loaf. Our daughter is now nine years old and finally she wipes her own ***; but she will only use wet wipes. Since we don't want a garbage can full of stinky, ****-crusted wipes, we buy the "flushable wipes," and those suckers ain't cheap. This damn wet wipe addiction is forcing my daughter into a life of Shameful Shitting. It seems that nearly every time I pick her up from school she wants to rush home immediately due to the fact that she was been "holding it" all day. She just refuses to use the dry toilet paper at school. I love the child and want her to be happy, but I have certainly survived using dry paper for over forty years... and those flushable wet wipes are expensive...
The Dog. Dixie, our four-year-old sheltie, rarely has an accident. I can't remember the last time she **** in the house -- probably not since she was a pup. This dog can really hold a load and has an iron bladder; I've witnessed her go up to eighteen hours without pissing. My problem with the dog is that she shits ALL OVER the yard. Instead of squatting and dropping a pile, Dixie will drop a nugget, move a foot, drop a nugget, move a foot, and continue this up to twenty times per defecation. The dog spends a fair amount of time outside and when she sees a stranger or hears something odd she will run around like a maniac, galloping through her own ****, mud, and whatever else is on the ground. The dog will then come into the house, run on the carpet, and jump on the furniture and the beds with her dookie-covered paws. What burns me is that my wife has the nerve to ***** me out if I walk on the carpet with my shoes on -- even after I wiped them. The only other thing about this dog is that Dixie is a cat **** eater. I have on occasion caught her with her head in the litter box. We feed the dog well, but I guess kitty poop is a doggie delicacy.
Cat One. Max is fourteen years old, blind, and has chronic diarrhea. The vet told my wife four years ago to put Max to sleep and out of his misery; but the wife just won't submit. This cat can really blast *** -- once he shot a watery load all over the side of the dryer about two feet from the ground. This cat shits and pukes everywhere. He tries to make it to the litter box but often he "craps out" or gets confused. About a month ago my wife spent $700 on a new living room chair that has now become Max's favorite spot to sleep. I have witnessed him use the litter box and immediately head for this new chair, his *** hair crusted in liquid poop. The cat also uses the new chair as a scratching post and has already frayed several threads.
Cat Two. Ziggy is an outdoor cat. He only has three legs -- he lost a front leg to cancer about four years ago. He can still kill birds and moles and he gets in his share of raccoon fights... he is a tough old bastard. Everyone in the neighborhood feeds him; he will disappear for up to five days at a time and come home happy and well fed. Since the cat is getting older my wife tries to keep Ziggy inside, especially during bad weather, but the cat will let out this ******* annoying cry and scratch at the door. If that doesn't work, Ziggy has a trick that will surely gets us to boot his *** outside: he will shamelessly **** in front of us. Many a time my wife has insisted on keeping Ziggy inside for his own good, like after he gets his *** kicked by a raccoon. This makes the cat rebel and the rotten prick will walk right up to us, perhaps when we are watching the tube, look us dead in the eye, and blatantly drop a steaming pile.
Last year when we went on vacation we kept all three cats in the basement for a week. My stepson and parents came over daily to feed the cats. Ziggy shat all over the basement regularly and refused to use the litter box. My stepson told us that one day he stopped over and Ziggy made several attempts to get outside. After the cat gave up he lay down on his side, looked at my stepson, and just squeezed out a monster log.
Cat Three. Puss-Puss is only two years old and is still mischievous. My only problem with her is that she will use the litter box after Max paints it with diarrhea, and then she'll sit on the furniture with kitty litter and Max's dung all over her backside.
The Birds. As I said earlier, all kinds of crap flies from bird cages. We started out two years ago with one male canary, and that was tolerable. When the thing stopped singing my wife figured it was lonely. We bought an inexpensive companion -- a male finch. The two birds would fight regularly, so my wife bought another cage in order to separate the birds. Now we had two lonely birds. My wife's solution was to go out and buy a female canary and a female finch. We had to keep the cages at the highest point in the house -- on top of our five-foot-high entertainment center -- because Puss Puss desperately wants a bird to chomp on. So the top of the entertainment center, the television, and the DVD player -- not to mention the carpet -- is always littered with bird ****, birdseed, and feathers. Thankfully we managed to get rid of the finches, which cuts down on the mess.
The Hamster. The funniest and the grossest display in my house comes courtesy our hamster and his infamous Wheel of ****. I don't know if anyone is familiar with these newfangled cages in which the hamster exercise wheel is enclosed and on top of the cage. The hamster can climb through a tube to access the wheel, which is sealed except for a few air slits. Hamsters are filthy rodents that drop little turds constantly; needless to say, this wheel is crusted with a trail of smeared crap and the little ****** runs and runs and shits and shits. It is so ******* nasty and, especially at three AM, annoying. I just know fecal matter is flying through those air slits. We keep the hamster cage up next to the birdcage because the Puss Puss also wants that hamster for dinner.
I can't believe we haven't caught a weird disease living under these conditions. I panic if I see a fly in the house -- odds are it was just sitting on an animal turd minutes earlier. But I am outnumbered two to one in the household; so I guess I must learn to make all feces my friend, and try and enjoy my household of filth.
Does Anyone Else Have This Problem???
Holy crap, that was long!
Ok. Firstly sounds like your having some marital issues with the wife. It sounds like you feel that she has somehow tricked you into a relationship that you are now "stuck" in. As a female, I resent some of the wordage you used to describe the act of courtship as trying to get tale etc...
She appears to be just being who she has always been, an animal lover. She had pets when she met you after all. It's not like she said she hated animals then, after the I' do's said, "Oh and by the way..."
It also sounds like she is unaware that you are having such an issue with her bodily noises and habits. May be you could quietly and calmly with no cursing explain to her that there are some things that are making your life very uncomfortable.
We (Ladies) have a right to fart wherever we need to. Most of us try to be discreet. Explain to your wife as lovingly as you can that it really disturbs you that she rips them in front of you. She may not know that she is really bothering you. You can also try to explain that leaving "skid-marks" on the toilet gross you out. As for stinking up the bathroom, sorry- it happens, buy air freshener and move on.
The Child, you are enabling her to continue her dependance on wet wipes. STOP BUYING THEM. She will begin wiping using regular old toilet paper when she gets tired of having crusty butt. It's a phase and hopefully will be a short lived one. To me, it would be worth the extra laundry for a few weeks. Besides, holding your bowels for that long is not healthy!
The dog- Dixie. Best bet is to put your foot down and demand that she have her paws wiped off before coming inside. A quick wipe with a towel should ease your issues with her. She may not be able to help her deficating methods, it's not like she has a toilet seat to lean on. The best defence against her stepping in it is to scoop it up right away. You can do it yourself (have the child do it) or many communities have a company that will do it for you. Your wife may have never thought to wipe the dog's paws.
Max- Explain that the older cat is really not enjoying life anymore, be kind and understand that putting a pet to sleep is a hard choice to make. Point out how his life is no longer enjoyable, the diarrhea being blind/ deaf etc... You can also take him to the groomer and ask for a "sanitary cut" this will shave the long hairs around his nether region and make cleaning him up after an accident MUCH easier.
Ziggy- Sounds like you are ok with him as long as he's not on the injured list. When he has to be kept inside "for his own good" you might consider buying a large kennel and placing it in a covered spot outside. Give him a litter box, food and water dishes and a place to get warm (a closed cardboard box with a hole cut into with a towel inside works well.) This way he is outside, so if he does howel, you won't hear him and if he does poo outside the box, its very simple to cleanup.
Puss Puss- She cant help if she needs to poo and max has been there first. I would suggest having two boxes out, this will give her the option using a clean box. If max is put to sleep, then that ends that problem.
Birds- There is an item called a cage skirt. It wraps around the bottom 1/3rd of a cage and really helps cut down on the stuff that flies out of the cage. You can also, depending on how big the cage is, use an appropriate sized hook and hang the cage from the ceiling. This would enable you place the cage anywhere you deem acceptable.
Hamster- Nasty creatures I agree. Your family is probably too attached to get rid of it, so the best you can do is limit the mess. Look for a new cage one that has the wheel inside the cage proper. They do exist, I promise.
It sounds as if you are a borderline germaphobe, who is very uncomforatble living with this may animals. I would talk to your wife in as kind and honest a way as you can and explain that while you don't mind the animals, they need to be cleaned up after in a more timely manner. Keep Clorox wipes so that simple cleanups are a snap. Our dogs are not allowed on the bed, unles we invite them "up". It sounds like your dog might do well with a little training refresher, then you an use some of those cues to restrict her unwanted behaviour while in the house.
Good grief this took forever! Hope this helped a little!
Reply:man i admire your courage and all the energy it must have taken you to type this. i think a couple other people have that problem too. but what they dont have is the courage to keep up the care instead of booting them out on the street. what you should do is set some limits though. i dont mean locking them away forever. what i mean is compromise. talk to your wife and daughter. i mean come on, do the birds really have to be over the KITCHEN of all places. Next you need to do some serious potty training or else your house will drive people away, literally. start with your daughter. i mean she's nine. she can talk and reason with you here i mean, seriously wet wipes?i mean how far will THAT go? to college? what if she's boarding somewhere? you got to let her see that there are other kinds of toilet papers in the world. let her buy some with allowance and take it to school or something. as for your dog and cats, some re-training is in order. See if this helps:
http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com/Potty%2...
http://perfectpaws.com/train.html
Keep Dixie quiet when she's doing her thing and dont let her get distracted. if you want, take her for a walk everday and keep her on a leash so she can focus.
I'm sorry to say this but Max really needs to be put down, no questions asked. i know your wife loves him to death, but Max has lived a nice long happy life and it's time for him to move on. Some people actually end up making their pet's lives miserable by refusing to put them to sleep and it doesn't look like he (and you) aren't having the time of your life. He's losing body fluids and constant diarreha and puking are very painful for him.
As for Ziggy, get him neutered. It should make him calmer. if you can't litter box train him then you'll have to take him outside like a dog. You might want to fence him in. Oh and when you kick him out he might see that as a reward for doing his little trick for you. There might not be to much you can do for Ziggy but be strong anyway.
Puss-puss also needs to learn to use a litterbox without the odors of cats past. When she goes, make sure the box is clean. When she uses it by herself praise her. if it doesn't work get her her own litter box. There are self cleaning litter boxes also if you want one. And if you need get rid of the birds or shut them and the hamster in another room with newspapers or something on the floor to catch the droppings. they aren't helping the situation, and get her a toy instead.
As for the hamster, take the wheel out and get him tubes to crawl through instead. excersize without the mess.
Make sure you clean your house every month at least (and i mean a really thourough cleaning).
And as for the wife, please let her know that a clean home is a happy home for everyone. good luck ;)
Reply:You have a great knack with words, you should write a book. Bet you feel better getting it off your chest???You sound like you have a zoo! Only answer I have for you is to eat out a lot and to get professional cleaners to come in every once in a while. And then sit back and enjoy the entertainment.
Reply:I think this post had been better being posted in the relationships section. You need to speak to your family and make it clear, YOUR PETS, YOU CLEAN IT! Tell them ... and mean it... you and your pets suffer if the environment is not clean. No animal or person deserves that. Tell them, clean it regularly and daily at that... or more often as is needed or tell them you will take the animals away to the vet to have euthanased. Especially the one the vet said should have been years before. This is no way to keep a household, pets or a person. Sounded vile to me.
Hope you get some ship shape and bristol fashion cleaning done there soon for all your sakes.
Reply:dude i think you should clean up more often...but i do admire you, i love animals too, they are way better than kids and humans, not only that they will never turn against you!!!!!!
Reply:This one took a really, really long time to read. All I can really say is that your life sucks.
And you need to cut down the cursing.
Reply:Are your hands broken? Clean up all that ****.
BTW, shat is not a word.
Reply:In answer to your question, no I don't have that problem. We have a house full of animals too, but they are all extremely well behaved and tidy. And I worked damn long and hard to get them that way.
It is possible to be an animal lover and not live in a pig sty.
I'm sorry to say it, but this is your own fault, or did you forget that you're the man of the house and have a say in these matters? My husband and I are as equal as any two people can be in a marriage, but if he says to me, this is how it's going to be, then that's it. I respect him as the man of our house. For whatever reason, you don't have that and I suggest you work on getting it.
A man should not have to dread coming home. It should be a place of relaxation for you. Your wife needs to understand this. You, should spend a week in a hotel or something, so she can get the picture. This is not a funny situation and it seems to me like your wife and daughter think it is some big joke. It is not healthy for you or the animals to be living like this.
As for what you can do to help the situation, I would highly recommend having at least one litter box for each cat and spacing them throughout the house. It's sounding like at least one of them, is having difficulty getting to the box in time. Besides, cats will not use a dirty litter box, so keep up with the scooping or get a box that scoops for you.
My oldest cat, Nico had a serious problem with diarrhea for a long time, until I finally thought that he may need more fiber in his diet. He now gets a spoonful of canned pumpkin with every meal and hasn't had a runny poop since. This might help poor little Max as well, you never know.
I would get an animal trainer to your house (I mean, you can get one from Pet Smart and many other pet stores, plus your vet can probably refer you to one as well). Explain to them what's going on and work on how to fix it. You might not be able to fix everything, but enough should be able to be done to make your life enjoyable again. It sounds to me like your wife is getting all these animals before knowing how to properly care for them and an animal trainer will be able to help in this regard too.
This is an unacceptable situation that you're in and that's the bottom line. Even if you all haven't been sick yet, it's coming. Best to fix the situation before that happens.
Time to take back YOUR house.
Reply:LMFSO !!
I have 13 cats, 2 dogs, 1 bird, 1 lizard 3 tanks of fish and 4 teenagers in my house and it seems like a haven of peace and tranquility compared to yours !
You've really got to take control of this and nibble away at the problem a bit at a time instead of just suddenly going Basil on it.
For 3 cats you need at least 3 trays - they should be cleaned daily which will help to stop the cats tracking through each other's doings every time they pay a visit. Get the old cat to the vet and see what can be done - chronic diarrhea needs to be sen to.
The hamster wheel should be removed and soaked ( minus hamster of course) in warm soapy water and then scrubbed. This should be done regularly to avoid the threat of atomized hamster crap being sprayed around the room at high velocity.
You need to get a tray to go under the bird cage to catch the mess ( this also should be cleaned out daily.)
The yard needs to be kept ultra clean - I also had a dog that shat in installments and the only way to avoid getting it tracked in to the house is to clean the yard.
As for your child's fixation on wet wipes - provide norrmal toilet paper - if that's not god enough let her buy her wet wipes with her own pocket money.
BTW most people fart regardless of age sex or wealth - you must have just been leading a sheltered life.
Oddly enough living amongst all this has probably made you immune to most things going !
Hope you feel better now you've had your rant - I'll just go clean up that furball !
Reply:The only part I can help you with is the girl you dated who never dropped a load. Yes she did. She just didn't let you know it. I used to go to the gas station down the road when I slept over at my now husband's house. He actually asked me once why I never took a dump-he thought I was sick! As for the other, animal lovers are just that and I bet the animals will come first in a shootout. However, you could be in trouble if your home reaches filthy levels that the Humane Society gets involved. It's bad for yours and your animals's health to live in squaller. Better get everyone a bucket and some old rags and have Saturday "Fun Day" twice a month!
Reply:LOL, well I can't really help you with any of that but I much did enjoy the story!!
Reply:Oh, man. That sounds awful. Maybe I can help with one or two things. About the cat with horrible diarrhea. If he is having that much trouble, ask your wife to consider how Max is feeling. Diarrhea is painful. And he's throwing up too? His life must be hell. Really, if he has something you can't treat, why make him live with that? It's really being selfish to want to keep him around in that condition, rather than letting him be at peace. If you ask her to empathize with the cat rather than you, you may make headway. Second, with your daughter. As a mother of a headstrong 5 year old, I totally empathize with you. Does she get an allowance? Ask her to buy her wipes with her allowance and bring them to school with her. If she runs out, she'll just have to deal with it. Buy nice soft toilet paper for home, so it's as comfortable an alternative as possible. From there, you'll have to decide which will work better with her, asking her to handle her own dirty laundry when she doesn't wipe or throwing it out. As far as the birds and hamster are concerned, couldn't they be in separate rooms from the cats so they don't have to be so high? Put drop cloths under them to catch the feces. The outdoor cat: as far as he's concerned when he's inside you're imprisoning him without access to the toilet. He doesn't recognize the litter box as a litter box. Some people have reported success by putting dirt on top of the litter in the litter box. It feels like what he normally goes on so it may fool him. In multiple cat households you should have a litter box for each cat and one extra (in case you dont).
Reply:Goodness.
1. Scoop up the dog poop in the yard at least once every day. The dog can't track poop into the house if the yard is kept clean.
2. Scoop out the cat litter boxes every day. Clean them out completely every week or two. You probably need 2-3 litter boxes for 3 cats. If you're going out of town, your cat sitters need to clean out the litter boxes as well as feeding/watering.
3. The hamster's cage needs to be cleaned out weekly.
4. I don't know anything about birds, but it sounds like more frequent cage cleaning wouldn't hurt.
Reply:Whoa, this sounds like the small tip of the sh**berg! You need to have a family meeting and work out some of these issues constructively. That means don't get into a lot of finger pointing, name calling, etc. It sounds like you have a lot of issues and resentments towards your family and it's taking its form as a fecal rant. This won't get resolved unless all of you communicate better.
We have a lot of pets, too, and the entire family works together to make sure they are all clean, well fed, and happy. I know pets can be messy. Part of it may be that your family has too many animals in a small space. Also, birds and rodents are notoriously messy to keep. A fish tank might work out better for the family as long as the water is kept clean and healthy! At least the fish won't be taking a dump outside their aquarium.
Reply:I would try finding guards to keep the mess inside the cages you have ro find a cage that has guards.
http://www.qualitycage.com/sacages.html
credot
Good camp prank ideas???
so i go to karate camp every year. it is SO fun. my cabin always has the best pranks. one year we stole one cabin's pillows and shoes. another year we stole a cabin's karate belts, hid them, then put them on the stairs and they had to climb up and down on the spiky stairs in front of everybody. then we changed all the guy's shoelaces with pink and purple friend's laces, and covered them with sparkles. this year, i'm kind of stuck for a prannk idea, so if you could help that ouwld be great! thank you =D stuff that isn't destructive please and they CAN"T KNOW WHO DID IT! thanks
Good camp prank ideas???
Here are some things that I did back when I was a camper:
A friend of mine had a single cabin. It was pretty tiny--so I took a roll of hardcore saran wrap and saran wraped him in his cabin. Boy, was he mad :)
Steal the clothing of the folks, put it in a plastic garbage bag, and put it on a rack in the middle of the river. If you don't have a river, well...never mind :P
Steal all of the mattresses out of the cabins. The ones that we had were super thin, and easy to snatch. Try to make the beds look normal, so that no one knows until they sit down on their bunk.
Attack the cabin in the night armed with water balloons or super soakers. Wear camouflage. Run amok. You aren't finished unless unless the campers and the councilor are completely soaked through.
Good luck, have fun, tell us what you ended up doing when you come back :)
Reply:Okay, I'm not a big prankster, but I have an idea. In the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping...make sure the lights are off. Then cover your faces in ski masks to make sure no one knows who you are. After that, take a huge bucket of ice cold water and dump it on someone. They will most likely scream and wake everyone up! When that happens, run out as fast as you can. IF everyone falls back asleep, take a spray bottle and spray water everywhere around the room. Spray peoples beds, their clothes, their personal belongings, EVERYTHING. Then quickly take toilet paper and put it all over the things you sprayed with water. It will stick and be very hard to get it off! The next day make sure you act like nothing ever happened and you have no idea whats going on.
hope my wild ideas help :P
Reply:1. Go in there room and put Silly string everyweres! and put whip cream there hands and by there head.
2. Steal all there clothes ( not the ones there wearing)
3.When there in the shower yell FIRE!
4. In washermachine shrink there clothing.
5. Tell them your all meeting in the woods at 5pm then when they leave go in there cabin and mess it up!
6. If there are 2 girl cabins and 2 boy cabins get 1 girl cabin to take clothing from the other one then the boys to take clothing from the other one the exchange the clothing and give the boys the girl clothing and the girls the boys clothing
7.Before mourning take one of the popular people from the other cabin and put them outside in there sleep
Reply:All of those pranks are stupid and not funny no offence though. If you want t a really cool prank, take a shaving cream and put it in guys hand while he is sleeping, when you done that, tickle his face with a feather and when he will feel it, he will scratch it with the hand full of shaving cream... you will have to see his reaction, it is helerious
Reply:Heres a good one bring 10 bottles of chocolate syrup and pour it in a bucket the whill some kids are sleeping hang it in there cabin door and when they open the door in the morning
Reply:At Night, bang on the windows and doors,
and start screaming.
Flash lots of lights in there and stuff.
Then, when they come out the door, hide around back,
or rush back to your cabin.
Reply:Hmm.. you could:
1)Put iching powder in thier beds
2)Take off thier shower head and add a package of blue Kool-Aid mix, and they put it back on
3) Glue the refridgerator door shut
4) At night take all of thier totlitries
Reply:When my boys went to camp they caught a bunch of spiders. They let the spiders go in the girls cabin. The funny thing is the girls didn't even notice.
Reply:powdered sugar in a sleeping bag is epic. The victim will sweat at night, and in the morning they end up looking like a glazed ham. Be warned though, this will make the bag pretty hard to wash
Reply:Put a table above while they sleep then call for grizzly bear attacks emergencies or a wild fire. This will wake them up and hitting their heads on the table. LOL
Reply:go to a cabin with girls in it and take their bras and hang them up around the guys cabin up high so the guys have to watch them trying to get them
Reply:behind each cabin there might be a breaker box open it and turn off there power...it is not that funny, but....
Reply:put their hand in warm water when theyre sleeping :D
or draw mustaches on em with washable marker.
Reply:Unroll the toilet paper, sprinkle fiber glass in it and roll it back up.
Reply:Saran wrap the toilet.
Reply:Sneak to their cabin and blow it up.(Recomend c4)
Reply:you should karate chop someone when their sleeping
haha karate camp
sweet life
Reply:saran wrap the toilet!!
Reply:karate camp?
Reply:putting a frog in someone's pillow case..(make sure that frog is not hurt, at all)
Reply:paint the guys hair pink.
(spray paint)
Reply:guy or girl camp???
Reply:put dog doo doo in a sleeping bag of someone you don't like .
tee hee!!!
skin problems
Good camp prank ideas???
Here are some things that I did back when I was a camper:
A friend of mine had a single cabin. It was pretty tiny--so I took a roll of hardcore saran wrap and saran wraped him in his cabin. Boy, was he mad :)
Steal the clothing of the folks, put it in a plastic garbage bag, and put it on a rack in the middle of the river. If you don't have a river, well...never mind :P
Steal all of the mattresses out of the cabins. The ones that we had were super thin, and easy to snatch. Try to make the beds look normal, so that no one knows until they sit down on their bunk.
Attack the cabin in the night armed with water balloons or super soakers. Wear camouflage. Run amok. You aren't finished unless unless the campers and the councilor are completely soaked through.
Good luck, have fun, tell us what you ended up doing when you come back :)
Reply:Okay, I'm not a big prankster, but I have an idea. In the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping...make sure the lights are off. Then cover your faces in ski masks to make sure no one knows who you are. After that, take a huge bucket of ice cold water and dump it on someone. They will most likely scream and wake everyone up! When that happens, run out as fast as you can. IF everyone falls back asleep, take a spray bottle and spray water everywhere around the room. Spray peoples beds, their clothes, their personal belongings, EVERYTHING. Then quickly take toilet paper and put it all over the things you sprayed with water. It will stick and be very hard to get it off! The next day make sure you act like nothing ever happened and you have no idea whats going on.
hope my wild ideas help :P
Reply:1. Go in there room and put Silly string everyweres! and put whip cream there hands and by there head.
2. Steal all there clothes ( not the ones there wearing)
3.When there in the shower yell FIRE!
4. In washermachine shrink there clothing.
5. Tell them your all meeting in the woods at 5pm then when they leave go in there cabin and mess it up!
6. If there are 2 girl cabins and 2 boy cabins get 1 girl cabin to take clothing from the other one then the boys to take clothing from the other one the exchange the clothing and give the boys the girl clothing and the girls the boys clothing
7.Before mourning take one of the popular people from the other cabin and put them outside in there sleep
Reply:All of those pranks are stupid and not funny no offence though. If you want t a really cool prank, take a shaving cream and put it in guys hand while he is sleeping, when you done that, tickle his face with a feather and when he will feel it, he will scratch it with the hand full of shaving cream... you will have to see his reaction, it is helerious
Reply:Heres a good one bring 10 bottles of chocolate syrup and pour it in a bucket the whill some kids are sleeping hang it in there cabin door and when they open the door in the morning
Reply:At Night, bang on the windows and doors,
and start screaming.
Flash lots of lights in there and stuff.
Then, when they come out the door, hide around back,
or rush back to your cabin.
Reply:Hmm.. you could:
1)Put iching powder in thier beds
2)Take off thier shower head and add a package of blue Kool-Aid mix, and they put it back on
3) Glue the refridgerator door shut
4) At night take all of thier totlitries
Reply:When my boys went to camp they caught a bunch of spiders. They let the spiders go in the girls cabin. The funny thing is the girls didn't even notice.
Reply:powdered sugar in a sleeping bag is epic. The victim will sweat at night, and in the morning they end up looking like a glazed ham. Be warned though, this will make the bag pretty hard to wash
Reply:Put a table above while they sleep then call for grizzly bear attacks emergencies or a wild fire. This will wake them up and hitting their heads on the table. LOL
Reply:go to a cabin with girls in it and take their bras and hang them up around the guys cabin up high so the guys have to watch them trying to get them
Reply:behind each cabin there might be a breaker box open it and turn off there power...it is not that funny, but....
Reply:put their hand in warm water when theyre sleeping :D
or draw mustaches on em with washable marker.
Reply:Unroll the toilet paper, sprinkle fiber glass in it and roll it back up.
Reply:Saran wrap the toilet.
Reply:Sneak to their cabin and blow it up.(Recomend c4)
Reply:you should karate chop someone when their sleeping
haha karate camp
sweet life
Reply:saran wrap the toilet!!
Reply:karate camp?
Reply:putting a frog in someone's pillow case..(make sure that frog is not hurt, at all)
Reply:paint the guys hair pink.
(spray paint)
Reply:guy or girl camp???
Reply:put dog doo doo in a sleeping bag of someone you don't like .
tee hee!!!
skin problems
Some awesome camp pranks... =D?
so i go to karate camp every year. it is SO fun. my cabin always has the best pranks. one year we stole one cabin's pillows and shoes. another year we stole a cabin's karate belts, hid them, then put them on the stairs and they had to climb up and down on the spiky stairs in front of everybody. then we changed all the guy's shoelaces with pink and purple friend's laces, and covered them with sparkles. this year, i'm kind of stuck for a prannk idea, so if you could help that ouwld be great! thank you =D i need to prank a WHOLE CABIN. and please not something really destructive
Some awesome camp pranks... =D?
Wait til they're asleep come in and paint their nails
haha classic prank
:D
Reply:WOW ARENT YOUS REBELS
Reply:Pour ice water on people while they're sleeping.
koffice
Some awesome camp pranks... =D?
Wait til they're asleep come in and paint their nails
haha classic prank
:D
Reply:WOW ARENT YOUS REBELS
Reply:Pour ice water on people while they're sleeping.
koffice
My Guinea Pig Keeps Trying to Escape, WHat should I Do?
I have to guinea pigs, theres still young, one is about six inches long and the other is about 4 inches, i dont know the age. I had just gotten them two days ago. I have them both in different cages, the smallest one in a small size plastic cage thats just about his high up with streaded napkin paper as the beding, and the biggest on is in a bigger cage the size of a shoe box. also the bedding is napkin paper,(dont really have money to by them proper beding and a water bottle. i use a small dish for both of them for water, i feed them carrots and apple peices. in the past two days i changed there bedding twice during both time they escaped on me quite a few times, then while in the cage there running around on the edges of the cage jumping at the top and climbing on the sides trying to get out. what should i do?
My Guinea Pig Keeps Trying to Escape, WHat should I Do?
well...if u cant afford proper bedding and stuff, then u should really have gotten guinea pigs. they like to run around a lot, and get treats =)
Reply:uhm no offence but it doesnt sound like your fit to have guinea pigs...
you cant even afford proper bedding.
and a cage the size of a shoe box? are you kidding me...thats horrible.
a water dish? thats OK...but really they should have a water BOTTLE.
and do they even have guinea pig food/pellets..hay...vitamin c drops for their water??
it doesnt sound like they're being taken care of properly.
Reply:um, well i have a guinea pig and i know how to treat them but i honestly think maybe you should sell them or at least the one thats escaping it doesn't sound happy, they really do need the bedding stuff to and if u can get the money to get bedding then change the cage once a week.
p.s. they like treats to
Reply:Well they prolly want to run about and play and a shoebox isnt big enough. Maybe you could build a nice sized cage with things around the house. Or go to the dollar store and get one of those huge plastic containers, put them in there with the lid off untill you get a proper cage
good luck
Reply:Well, not to be mean but, if you don't have the money for them then you shouldn't of gotten them. A shoebox is not big enough for a house. They probally want to run around. Cuz so would i if i was living in a shoebox. That's animal cruelty. THEY NEED HAY!!!! AND PELLETTS!!!!
Reply:the size of a shoebox is the bigger one?! get the pigs out!!! they need lots of space and a cage AT LEAST the size of a microwave AT LEAST!!! they need room to move and excersize! poor piggys!
Reply:????????
Reply:Ok, this may sound harsh, but I'm going to be brutally honest with you because this story is making me want to cry. You are abusing those animals. Yes, this is animal abuse.
You are feeding them an improper diet, for starters. If you continue to feed them apple and carrot pieces, they will be dead or dying and beyond repair within a week! Guinea pigs MUST be fed a diet based primarily on grain. You need to go to the store and purchase a prepackaged bag of guinea pig (NOT RABBIT-IT IS NOT THE SAME) food, preferably find out the brand they were on when you bought them and get that because they have very sensitive digestive systems and they must be in a great deal of pain by now. It is IMPERATIVE that you get them on a diet of guinea pig food and timothy hay (one handful of hay daily) NOW if you even care about them surviving. The fruit is horrible for guinea pigs under stress or very young (4" is YOUNG!) and these are both only babies. There is too much sugar and it gives them diarrhea, which in turn can dehydrate them and causes a lot of abdominal pain and general discomfort for the animals. The carrots are not nutritionally complete, and should be offered as a daily treat/supplement and not a full meal. As for now, don't even give them any carrots until they have been on the proper diet for at least a month. They can be sick!
No guinea pig should EVER be kept in a cage remotely as small as a shoe box. THAT is the part that is animal abuse.
I don't even know why you would be so irresponsible as to purchase a living thing without even taking the time to research into their care and find out if you can even afford them. Don't you have any compassion? Do you realize that your two new pets are afraid, suffering, and possibly in pain? If you can't afford a water bottle and bedding today, you sure as heck can not afford to have these pets. If you actually care about the lives of the animals, and you don't just see them as toys for your personal amusement, you will do the only right thing that you can do with your current financial situation: Take them back to the pet shop right now, and tell them that you made a mistake and you can't possibly afford to take well enough care of them to even keep them alive. They may refund all or part of your purchase. If they give you only a store-credit, use it to buy a BOOK or two on guinea pigs, in case you want to try owning a pair in the future. If they give you no money back at all (I guess it depends on their policy) then remember, that store may have to pay a vet to fix the animals up after what they have been through. Take it as a lesson and be glad you didn't kill them! If the shop won't take them, go to petfinder.com and find a rescue in your area. If you are having trouble with that part, PLEASE feel free to email me and I will help you the best I can. I need to know what state/town you live in to help you find a place to take them and fix them up.
To give you an idea of the BASIC care of guinea pigs: You need a cage at least two feet long. You also need ALLof the following supplies before you buy the animal:
-water bottle ( I use two so I can clean and air-dry each bottle overnight to remove bacteria and switch them daily)
-non-tip pet-safe food dish
-timothy hay... VERY IMPORTANT!
-proper prepackaged guinea pig diet without a lot of seeds.
-bedding: carefresh, Yesterday's News Unscented, Cellsorb or any other PAPER based bedding that has no scents or aromatic oils... Paper napkins are not going to absorb the dangerous ammonia that builds up in their cage, unless you cover the bottom of the cage REALLY thick and then replace it like twice a day... it's actually cheaper to use bedding :P
-Water-soluble vitamin supplement (crucial during rehoming because the stress makes them susceptible to illness. I recommend using it daily for their entire lives because they have very high vitamin-C requirements and sometimes even prepackaged food loses nutrient quality from being around heat or light)
-a BOOK! A guinea pig that doesn't have a knowledgable, responsible owner is as good as dead. Are you even lifting them properly? If you do it wrong, you hurt them and risk internal damage. Because of their diet, their abdomen is probably already quite tender, so try not to lift them unnecessarily.
PLEASE, PLEASE, please get them a new home. I know you spent money on them, but isn't their happiness and comfort and LIFE more important to you than a little bit of money? You can't even afford a vet to help them.
Email me, via my profile. I will be more than happy to help you in any way that I can.
In the future, do not buy or take in any animal without being sure you can afford the money, time, and care it takes to keep them happy. Remember: someone else could give them a better home!
Reply:meaning no disrespect, it seems as if you have not read much on the proper care for guinea pigs. the following are web pages that i think could help you take care of your guinea pigs and get them to be more trusting towards you.
http://www.guineapigcages.com/howto.htm
http://www.diddly-di.fsnet.co.uk/piggy-c...
http://www.aracnet.com/~seagull/Guineas/...
http://www.cavyspirit.com/sociallife.htm...
http://jackiesguineapiggies.com/bathingy...
http://www.diddly-di.fsnet.co.uk/Nail-Cu...
http://guineapigcages.com/toys.htm
http://www.guinealynx.info/
good luck with your piggies, they really are a joy to have
EDIT: it may turn out that you cannot afford to properly care for the pigs in which case the kind thing to do would be to find them a new home
EDIT: your right that is a pretty bad situation, here's what you do:
find some way to make a bigger cage- get several boxes and put them together and cut holes and then connect the boxes so they can go from one to the other. tear up and ball up some newspaper, that will be much better bedding then you have at the moment. get them hay and pellets and grass (as long as you don't use any pesticides or fertilizers) and try to find them a home with willing parents. good luck
hair accessories
My Guinea Pig Keeps Trying to Escape, WHat should I Do?
well...if u cant afford proper bedding and stuff, then u should really have gotten guinea pigs. they like to run around a lot, and get treats =)
Reply:uhm no offence but it doesnt sound like your fit to have guinea pigs...
you cant even afford proper bedding.
and a cage the size of a shoe box? are you kidding me...thats horrible.
a water dish? thats OK...but really they should have a water BOTTLE.
and do they even have guinea pig food/pellets..hay...vitamin c drops for their water??
it doesnt sound like they're being taken care of properly.
Reply:um, well i have a guinea pig and i know how to treat them but i honestly think maybe you should sell them or at least the one thats escaping it doesn't sound happy, they really do need the bedding stuff to and if u can get the money to get bedding then change the cage once a week.
p.s. they like treats to
Reply:Well they prolly want to run about and play and a shoebox isnt big enough. Maybe you could build a nice sized cage with things around the house. Or go to the dollar store and get one of those huge plastic containers, put them in there with the lid off untill you get a proper cage
good luck
Reply:Well, not to be mean but, if you don't have the money for them then you shouldn't of gotten them. A shoebox is not big enough for a house. They probally want to run around. Cuz so would i if i was living in a shoebox. That's animal cruelty. THEY NEED HAY!!!! AND PELLETTS!!!!
Reply:the size of a shoebox is the bigger one?! get the pigs out!!! they need lots of space and a cage AT LEAST the size of a microwave AT LEAST!!! they need room to move and excersize! poor piggys!
Reply:????????
Reply:Ok, this may sound harsh, but I'm going to be brutally honest with you because this story is making me want to cry. You are abusing those animals. Yes, this is animal abuse.
You are feeding them an improper diet, for starters. If you continue to feed them apple and carrot pieces, they will be dead or dying and beyond repair within a week! Guinea pigs MUST be fed a diet based primarily on grain. You need to go to the store and purchase a prepackaged bag of guinea pig (NOT RABBIT-IT IS NOT THE SAME) food, preferably find out the brand they were on when you bought them and get that because they have very sensitive digestive systems and they must be in a great deal of pain by now. It is IMPERATIVE that you get them on a diet of guinea pig food and timothy hay (one handful of hay daily) NOW if you even care about them surviving. The fruit is horrible for guinea pigs under stress or very young (4" is YOUNG!) and these are both only babies. There is too much sugar and it gives them diarrhea, which in turn can dehydrate them and causes a lot of abdominal pain and general discomfort for the animals. The carrots are not nutritionally complete, and should be offered as a daily treat/supplement and not a full meal. As for now, don't even give them any carrots until they have been on the proper diet for at least a month. They can be sick!
No guinea pig should EVER be kept in a cage remotely as small as a shoe box. THAT is the part that is animal abuse.
I don't even know why you would be so irresponsible as to purchase a living thing without even taking the time to research into their care and find out if you can even afford them. Don't you have any compassion? Do you realize that your two new pets are afraid, suffering, and possibly in pain? If you can't afford a water bottle and bedding today, you sure as heck can not afford to have these pets. If you actually care about the lives of the animals, and you don't just see them as toys for your personal amusement, you will do the only right thing that you can do with your current financial situation: Take them back to the pet shop right now, and tell them that you made a mistake and you can't possibly afford to take well enough care of them to even keep them alive. They may refund all or part of your purchase. If they give you only a store-credit, use it to buy a BOOK or two on guinea pigs, in case you want to try owning a pair in the future. If they give you no money back at all (I guess it depends on their policy) then remember, that store may have to pay a vet to fix the animals up after what they have been through. Take it as a lesson and be glad you didn't kill them! If the shop won't take them, go to petfinder.com and find a rescue in your area. If you are having trouble with that part, PLEASE feel free to email me and I will help you the best I can. I need to know what state/town you live in to help you find a place to take them and fix them up.
To give you an idea of the BASIC care of guinea pigs: You need a cage at least two feet long. You also need ALLof the following supplies before you buy the animal:
-water bottle ( I use two so I can clean and air-dry each bottle overnight to remove bacteria and switch them daily)
-non-tip pet-safe food dish
-timothy hay... VERY IMPORTANT!
-proper prepackaged guinea pig diet without a lot of seeds.
-bedding: carefresh, Yesterday's News Unscented, Cellsorb or any other PAPER based bedding that has no scents or aromatic oils... Paper napkins are not going to absorb the dangerous ammonia that builds up in their cage, unless you cover the bottom of the cage REALLY thick and then replace it like twice a day... it's actually cheaper to use bedding :P
-Water-soluble vitamin supplement (crucial during rehoming because the stress makes them susceptible to illness. I recommend using it daily for their entire lives because they have very high vitamin-C requirements and sometimes even prepackaged food loses nutrient quality from being around heat or light)
-a BOOK! A guinea pig that doesn't have a knowledgable, responsible owner is as good as dead. Are you even lifting them properly? If you do it wrong, you hurt them and risk internal damage. Because of their diet, their abdomen is probably already quite tender, so try not to lift them unnecessarily.
PLEASE, PLEASE, please get them a new home. I know you spent money on them, but isn't their happiness and comfort and LIFE more important to you than a little bit of money? You can't even afford a vet to help them.
Email me, via my profile. I will be more than happy to help you in any way that I can.
In the future, do not buy or take in any animal without being sure you can afford the money, time, and care it takes to keep them happy. Remember: someone else could give them a better home!
Reply:meaning no disrespect, it seems as if you have not read much on the proper care for guinea pigs. the following are web pages that i think could help you take care of your guinea pigs and get them to be more trusting towards you.
http://www.guineapigcages.com/howto.htm
http://www.diddly-di.fsnet.co.uk/piggy-c...
http://www.aracnet.com/~seagull/Guineas/...
http://www.cavyspirit.com/sociallife.htm...
http://jackiesguineapiggies.com/bathingy...
http://www.diddly-di.fsnet.co.uk/Nail-Cu...
http://guineapigcages.com/toys.htm
http://www.guinealynx.info/
good luck with your piggies, they really are a joy to have
EDIT: it may turn out that you cannot afford to properly care for the pigs in which case the kind thing to do would be to find them a new home
EDIT: your right that is a pretty bad situation, here's what you do:
find some way to make a bigger cage- get several boxes and put them together and cut holes and then connect the boxes so they can go from one to the other. tear up and ball up some newspaper, that will be much better bedding then you have at the moment. get them hay and pellets and grass (as long as you don't use any pesticides or fertilizers) and try to find them a home with willing parents. good luck
hair accessories
His last book arrived today, these were my thoughts--poetic??
Odd
For Kurt.
it arrived today
shod in a cardboard box
it felt like a folded-up life
it said “Chapters” in big, black letters
my name
my address, much smaller
it didn’t weigh very much
and yet
like i said
it felt like a folded-up life
odd
that i felt so emotional
there was the brutal finality
of course
but he was just another new yorker i didn’t know
just another dead new yorker i didn’t know
like i said
odd
i paused before i tore open the box
paused and looked out the window:
Springtime
Our equinox just passed
It has excited
The air
Given it life and an
Overwhelming feeling that
Everything again can be
Sane
i smiled, warmed and alive
and opened the small box
brought out the contents from inside
and held it in my hands for the very first time
“this will never happen again,” i thought
looking at the white cover—
black letters, red letters
and a crude and famous drawing—
“never again will i hold his words in my hands
new and fresh like spring; i must treasure this moment….”
i looked out the window again
as evening began to arrive
and smiled gingerly:
Saffron-coloured sky
Out my window
Indigo clouds climbing the horizon
Their darkness
Giving a sense
Of
Eloquence and
Satirical understanding.
His last book arrived today, these were my thoughts--poetic??
This is incredible, just the 'realness' of it, for want of a better word, leaps off the page in a tone of familiar melancholy;
"Paused and looked out the window:
Springtime."
That really hit me, it's something that can't be taught. I loved the use of the word "odd", set on it's own. You've used certain 'techniques', again, for want of a better word, sparingly and to maximum effect here.
If I picked up a book of poetry in a shop and saw this, I would probably buy the book. I might have a quick flick through first, just to make sure it wasn't a red herring!
Reply:and so it goes.. .
Reply:This is a masterpiece. I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. The structure, the message, the chosen words ...
I suppose the ultimate rave would be to say that I could've happily read more and more.
Reply:It might be just the weather, but this is the third poem in a row that has made me enormously sad.
Reply:automatic pilot, gravity rises to an automatic poet, very good
Reply:Wow, I love it.
Your very talented.
Very nice work:)
Reply:I love this. It's so emotional. Bravo.
Reply:Absolutely beautiful. I was captivated from beginning to end.
Truly a work of art.
dancing quotes
For Kurt.
it arrived today
shod in a cardboard box
it felt like a folded-up life
it said “Chapters” in big, black letters
my name
my address, much smaller
it didn’t weigh very much
and yet
like i said
it felt like a folded-up life
odd
that i felt so emotional
there was the brutal finality
of course
but he was just another new yorker i didn’t know
just another dead new yorker i didn’t know
like i said
odd
i paused before i tore open the box
paused and looked out the window:
Springtime
Our equinox just passed
It has excited
The air
Given it life and an
Overwhelming feeling that
Everything again can be
Sane
i smiled, warmed and alive
and opened the small box
brought out the contents from inside
and held it in my hands for the very first time
“this will never happen again,” i thought
looking at the white cover—
black letters, red letters
and a crude and famous drawing—
“never again will i hold his words in my hands
new and fresh like spring; i must treasure this moment….”
i looked out the window again
as evening began to arrive
and smiled gingerly:
Saffron-coloured sky
Out my window
Indigo clouds climbing the horizon
Their darkness
Giving a sense
Of
Eloquence and
Satirical understanding.
His last book arrived today, these were my thoughts--poetic??
This is incredible, just the 'realness' of it, for want of a better word, leaps off the page in a tone of familiar melancholy;
"Paused and looked out the window:
Springtime."
That really hit me, it's something that can't be taught. I loved the use of the word "odd", set on it's own. You've used certain 'techniques', again, for want of a better word, sparingly and to maximum effect here.
If I picked up a book of poetry in a shop and saw this, I would probably buy the book. I might have a quick flick through first, just to make sure it wasn't a red herring!
Reply:and so it goes.. .
Reply:This is a masterpiece. I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. The structure, the message, the chosen words ...
I suppose the ultimate rave would be to say that I could've happily read more and more.
Reply:It might be just the weather, but this is the third poem in a row that has made me enormously sad.
Reply:automatic pilot, gravity rises to an automatic poet, very good
Reply:Wow, I love it.
Your very talented.
Very nice work:)
Reply:I love this. It's so emotional. Bravo.
Reply:Absolutely beautiful. I was captivated from beginning to end.
Truly a work of art.
dancing quotes
Title for my book?
looking for a good title for my book please help!!!!!!
couple i have thought of are
Jacob and checkers
yes you may
waiting for Jacob
any ideas?
It was the first day of kindergarten.
Jacob looked so grown up in his red shirt and blue jeans. He couldn’t help but look down at his brand new gym shoes as he walked back and forth. He was so excited but a little scared at the same time.
He looked at his mom with a worried face.
“You will make lots of friends,” his mother told him.
The word friend made Jacob smile so big. His eyes lit up with a spark that warmed the room. Jacob asked with so much excitement he couldn’t stand still,” Mommy, can Checkers come with?”
She reached out her arms and said,” come here my little man.” She noticed how long his legs had gotten. She remembered when he was a baby and wasn’t much bigger than the bear that he loved so much. She picked up her son and placed him on her lap. Jacob, not fitting the way he used to, tried to find a comfortable position.
She hugged Jacob while memories filled her head.
Checkers was Jacob’s teddy bear. He arrived as a gift the same day Jacob was born.
His name was Checkers because of the blue and white checkered bow around his neck.
Jacob brought Checkers everywhere his mother would allow.
Mommy can I take Checkers to the Grocery store?
Yes Jacob you may.
Mommy can I take Checkers to the park?
Yes Jacob you may.
Mommy can I take Checkers to Grandmas house?
Yes my little man, you may
They would get tucked in together.
Can checkers get a glass of water before bed? He is thirsty.
Yes YOU may.
Can we leave the light on?
Checkers is afraid of the dark.
Yes you may
At night time Checkers was a soldier standing watch over his sleepy general.
If Jacob was sick Checkers never left his side.
Jacob always returned the favor.
They did everything together. They were
Heroes
They were Pirates
They were astronauts
sometimes they played Jacob’s least favorite game of hide and go seek. Checkers did not want to be found. That game would go on for hours. Jacob would never get his turn to hide.
Checkers even went some places where he should not have been.
(picture of him in the bath tub)
And some places Jacob really didn’t want him to go…(picture of him in the dryer)
Jacob’s favorite thing to do was eating cookies together.
“Are you going to eat that?”
Jacob would say to Checkers,
you are my best friend. I can tell you all my secrets.
“Mommy were you listening?”
“Can Checkers come with me to school?”
She took a deep breath, looked him straight in the eyes and said,
“no Jacob, not this time.”
Jacob replied, “But why?” His lower lip started to shake and tears started running down his cheeks. ” He will be scared without me!”
She replied,
“YOU shouldn’t be afraid.” You are going to have a great and exciting day learning so many new things. Checkers might get lost If he comes with you. Checkers can stay with me today and keep me company. Jacob hugged his mom and whispered, Thanks mom!”
Jacob wiped his tears, took a deep breath and said, in his most serious voice,” I have to tell Checkers a secret.” He jumped off his mother’s lap, held him and whispered in his ear, “You have to stay. Don’t be scared.”
then set him gently in the chair, facing the window. “Checkers, wait for me and keep mommy company while I am gone.” Jacob stated firmly. He took his mother’s hand and together they walked to the bus stop.
Jacob jumped up and down and said, “Look mom, the bus is coming!” She bent down and hugged him tightly until the bus stopped in front of them and the door swung open. “Ok time to go now. Everything will be just fine. You'll see.” his mother said.
His mother watched as his little legs climbed each step. She waved goodbye as the bus pulled away.
She came back into the empty house and saw the bear just sitting in the window waiting. She
Whispered, “He will be home soon, don’t be sad.”
When the day was over, Jacob was so happy from all the new things he saw and did. He ran in the door and yelled “I had a good day Mommy!” He started telling her all about his day. He was talking so fast she could hardly keep up with what he was trying to say. She heard key words like
fun, bus, letters, nice, teacher, two new friends.
Then he stopped, looked across the room and saw
Checkers in the same place he had left him in the morning.
He ran past his mother straight to Checkers, picked him up out of the chair, gave him the longest hug…
the biggest hug he has ever given checkers.
As memories went through Jacob's head, he thought of cookie-time with Checkers and how they would sit together at the table and share their cookies. Jacob asked "Mommy MAY I have a cookie?" Very good Jacob, said his Mother, you remembered to say "MAY I." You are growing up so fast.
As Jacob finished his cookie, he thought for a moment. “MAY Checkers have a cookie too?” His mother smiled and said, “Yes my little man, he may.”
She added, “Checkers thought about you all day long. He missed you so much.”
Jacob ran and gave his mother a big hug and said, “I missed YOU too mommy.”
Jacob ran to his bedroom saying,
“I have so much to tell you! It’s a good thing you stayed home. Hide and go seek would have taken forever!”
(picture of door shutting behind him)
Title for my book?
i think the story was awsome i think the story sould be called "Checkers and Me or "Checkers and Jacob
Reply:Cute story. I really liked it! You could call it "Old Friends, New Friends"
or Jacob and his Friends
or Jacob Goes to School....Jacob's First Day of School
or Mom and Checkers
Reply:Wow. I think you should call it yes you may.
good story by the way!:D
Reply:Before I vote for a title I have to say:
That was a GREAT story
Have you written any others?
Im sure their great
Oh! almost forgot
I think "Waiting for Jacob" would be the best fit for this story
Reply:i agree with cary, you should call it, "Yes You May"
Reply:Great story. I think 'Yes you may' is the best title.
fashion accessories
couple i have thought of are
Jacob and checkers
yes you may
waiting for Jacob
any ideas?
It was the first day of kindergarten.
Jacob looked so grown up in his red shirt and blue jeans. He couldn’t help but look down at his brand new gym shoes as he walked back and forth. He was so excited but a little scared at the same time.
He looked at his mom with a worried face.
“You will make lots of friends,” his mother told him.
The word friend made Jacob smile so big. His eyes lit up with a spark that warmed the room. Jacob asked with so much excitement he couldn’t stand still,” Mommy, can Checkers come with?”
She reached out her arms and said,” come here my little man.” She noticed how long his legs had gotten. She remembered when he was a baby and wasn’t much bigger than the bear that he loved so much. She picked up her son and placed him on her lap. Jacob, not fitting the way he used to, tried to find a comfortable position.
She hugged Jacob while memories filled her head.
Checkers was Jacob’s teddy bear. He arrived as a gift the same day Jacob was born.
His name was Checkers because of the blue and white checkered bow around his neck.
Jacob brought Checkers everywhere his mother would allow.
Mommy can I take Checkers to the Grocery store?
Yes Jacob you may.
Mommy can I take Checkers to the park?
Yes Jacob you may.
Mommy can I take Checkers to Grandmas house?
Yes my little man, you may
They would get tucked in together.
Can checkers get a glass of water before bed? He is thirsty.
Yes YOU may.
Can we leave the light on?
Checkers is afraid of the dark.
Yes you may
At night time Checkers was a soldier standing watch over his sleepy general.
If Jacob was sick Checkers never left his side.
Jacob always returned the favor.
They did everything together. They were
Heroes
They were Pirates
They were astronauts
sometimes they played Jacob’s least favorite game of hide and go seek. Checkers did not want to be found. That game would go on for hours. Jacob would never get his turn to hide.
Checkers even went some places where he should not have been.
(picture of him in the bath tub)
And some places Jacob really didn’t want him to go…(picture of him in the dryer)
Jacob’s favorite thing to do was eating cookies together.
“Are you going to eat that?”
Jacob would say to Checkers,
you are my best friend. I can tell you all my secrets.
“Mommy were you listening?”
“Can Checkers come with me to school?”
She took a deep breath, looked him straight in the eyes and said,
“no Jacob, not this time.”
Jacob replied, “But why?” His lower lip started to shake and tears started running down his cheeks. ” He will be scared without me!”
She replied,
“YOU shouldn’t be afraid.” You are going to have a great and exciting day learning so many new things. Checkers might get lost If he comes with you. Checkers can stay with me today and keep me company. Jacob hugged his mom and whispered, Thanks mom!”
Jacob wiped his tears, took a deep breath and said, in his most serious voice,” I have to tell Checkers a secret.” He jumped off his mother’s lap, held him and whispered in his ear, “You have to stay. Don’t be scared.”
then set him gently in the chair, facing the window. “Checkers, wait for me and keep mommy company while I am gone.” Jacob stated firmly. He took his mother’s hand and together they walked to the bus stop.
Jacob jumped up and down and said, “Look mom, the bus is coming!” She bent down and hugged him tightly until the bus stopped in front of them and the door swung open. “Ok time to go now. Everything will be just fine. You'll see.” his mother said.
His mother watched as his little legs climbed each step. She waved goodbye as the bus pulled away.
She came back into the empty house and saw the bear just sitting in the window waiting. She
Whispered, “He will be home soon, don’t be sad.”
When the day was over, Jacob was so happy from all the new things he saw and did. He ran in the door and yelled “I had a good day Mommy!” He started telling her all about his day. He was talking so fast she could hardly keep up with what he was trying to say. She heard key words like
fun, bus, letters, nice, teacher, two new friends.
Then he stopped, looked across the room and saw
Checkers in the same place he had left him in the morning.
He ran past his mother straight to Checkers, picked him up out of the chair, gave him the longest hug…
the biggest hug he has ever given checkers.
As memories went through Jacob's head, he thought of cookie-time with Checkers and how they would sit together at the table and share their cookies. Jacob asked "Mommy MAY I have a cookie?" Very good Jacob, said his Mother, you remembered to say "MAY I." You are growing up so fast.
As Jacob finished his cookie, he thought for a moment. “MAY Checkers have a cookie too?” His mother smiled and said, “Yes my little man, he may.”
She added, “Checkers thought about you all day long. He missed you so much.”
Jacob ran and gave his mother a big hug and said, “I missed YOU too mommy.”
Jacob ran to his bedroom saying,
“I have so much to tell you! It’s a good thing you stayed home. Hide and go seek would have taken forever!”
(picture of door shutting behind him)
Title for my book?
i think the story was awsome i think the story sould be called "Checkers and Me or "Checkers and Jacob
Reply:Cute story. I really liked it! You could call it "Old Friends, New Friends"
or Jacob and his Friends
or Jacob Goes to School....Jacob's First Day of School
or Mom and Checkers
Reply:Wow. I think you should call it yes you may.
good story by the way!:D
Reply:Before I vote for a title I have to say:
That was a GREAT story
Have you written any others?
Im sure their great
Oh! almost forgot
I think "Waiting for Jacob" would be the best fit for this story
Reply:i agree with cary, you should call it, "Yes You May"
Reply:Great story. I think 'Yes you may' is the best title.
fashion accessories
Here is my favorite joke. Give me your best clean joke.?
,,There was a certain bus driver who hated his job, and he figured he was through. He went up to the personnel office to resign.
...He said' "I am quitting this job, and there is nothing you can do to make me stay!"
...The personnel manager replied, "Please, let's not be hasty. You are one of our most dependable drivers. We really hate to lose you. What problems are you experiencing?"
...The driver vented his frustrations to the personnel manager. Then came the offer.
..."If you try it just one more week, we'll change your route, give you a new and special bus, and since it is Friday, you can take off the last half of today. How about trying it, for just one more week?"
...Feeling somewhat better about the situation, he agreed to try it for one more week.
...He arrived Monday for work, they gave him his new route, and he was escorted to his new bus. This bus was special in a strange sort of way --- it had all these muppet characters all over it, like Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggie, Cookie Monster, and Oscar the Grouch. Even so, he made an agreement, so he climbed into the driver seat, and off he went.
...At the 1st stop, 2 very heavy women entered the bus. Each introduced herself as "Patty". The driver told them to sit down, and they continued on.
...At the 2nd stop, a lady with a boy named Ross got on the boss. She went on and on and on and on about how great and special her little Ross was to her. The driver, a little impatient now, told them to find a seat, and they drove on.
...At the 3rd stop, a barefoot man named Lester Sheets walked in. The bus driver reminded him that company policy stated he must have shoes on to ride the bus. Lester begged and begged and begged, saying that the bunions on his feet hurt a lot, and that he had no other way to get to where
he needed to go. The driver sighed, and agreed, and on they drove.
...The driver look in his rear view and saw Lester picking his feet on the bus.
...That was it, that was enough for him. He stopped the boss,
made everyone leave, and returned to the bus lot. He went up to the personnel office, and told them, "I really am quitting this time, and you can't make me come back."
...They asked why.
...He replied, "Because you gave me 2 obese patties, special Ross, Lester Sheets, pickin' his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"
Here is my favorite joke. Give me your best clean joke.?
LOL! I like that 1! I think I heard it before. Here's 1:
There were a Catholic priest, a Muslim cleric, %26amp; a Jewish Rabi discussing methods of dealing with offerings collected in their religious institutions. The Catholic priest explained that in their parish they draw a circle on the ground %26amp; throw the money collected into the air. "Whatever falls into the circle is God's; the rest we keep."
The Muslim cleric said, "We do something similar. We draw a line on the ground %26amp; throw the money in the air. Whatever lands on the right of the line is God's; the money that lands on the left is for us to keep."
The Jewish rabi explained, "We simply throw the money into the air. Whatever God wants, He can keep; the money that comes down is ours."
Reply:GUD JOKE
Reply:why did michael jackson go to the super market? because he heard little boys pants were half off (lol)
Reply:Little Johnny took.....
A BATH.
Reply:I don't get it....
=(
Reply:My Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this real slow, because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Tennessee family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days, and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; -- your Uncle Billy-Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the big buttons on, so we had to cut them off. You can find them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. It's the dangdest thing, but the baby looks just like your oldest brother.
Uncle Bobby-Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; -- he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends, Cletus and Buford, were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt, Mom
Reply:okay there was a zebra and he didn't know whether he was black with white stripes or white with black stripes. So one day he decides to ask all of his friends. He asked the lion, the giraffe, the alligator, and the panda. The panda told him to go to the highest mountain and ask god. So the zebra was on his way to the highest mountain. Finally he asked God, " God am i black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" God told him you are what you are son. The zebra was angry with God's response and took off. He passed the panda and the panda asked, " So did you get your answer? The zebra said no all he told me was you are what you are. There you go said the panda you're white with black stripes. How do you know, said the zebra. Because said the panda if you were black with white stipes he would of said you is what you is. haha
Reply:huh??
Reply:My Uncle in portugal knew this portuguese man who told many stories and claimed he could speak all sorts of languages giving the impression that he was a very all around knowledgable guy, Everyone in town believed him, saying hey look,"Armando knows good english!He can speak very good! and at the time knowing more than one language in a town meant you had some good education.
- So one day they were all in town together with his buddies at a portuguese bar and there were some englishmen at the bar who had arrived and they were having some trouble ordering a beer,
some portuguese buds and my uncle took notice and told Armando, " hey look those guys need some help ordering a beer, maybe you can help them out
So Armando said" Okay, no problem"
Armando went over to meet the englishmen and said
"BUENAS NOCHES AMIGOS!" (SPANISH FOR ''GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS")
the englishmens just stared blank at armando
suddenly the whole portuguese bar was filled with portuguese yells and laughter with my uncle and his buds saying this guy doesnt know anything!!!HES JUST A LIAR
EVERYTHNG HE SAID WAS A LIE,
JUST A BIG LIARR LOL
Reply:I'm sorry I just don't get it?
(I read this one earlier today)
Flowers and Candy-$30
Dinner and a movie-$90
Penthouse in the grand hotel-$300
The look on his face when you tell him your on your period -priceless!!!!
Reply:That was a lot of reading for a poor ending...
Reply:That's not really funny.
Anyway..here's one of mine
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon the guy's passing the entrance test, St. Peter says. "I'm not very busy today, so why don't you let me show you around?"
The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria, and finally, they come to a huge room full of clocks.
The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"
St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged." The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why that is so. St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock."
This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What is the story with that clock?"
"Oh, that." St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a ceiling fan."
Reply:sorry but I don't get it.
Reply:if someone is making fun of your outfit and looking at you say
you: do you work at walmart?
them: No
You: Then why are you checking me out?
Reply:how to keep a blonde amused all day. Put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in the corner!
hair care
...He said' "I am quitting this job, and there is nothing you can do to make me stay!"
...The personnel manager replied, "Please, let's not be hasty. You are one of our most dependable drivers. We really hate to lose you. What problems are you experiencing?"
...The driver vented his frustrations to the personnel manager. Then came the offer.
..."If you try it just one more week, we'll change your route, give you a new and special bus, and since it is Friday, you can take off the last half of today. How about trying it, for just one more week?"
...Feeling somewhat better about the situation, he agreed to try it for one more week.
...He arrived Monday for work, they gave him his new route, and he was escorted to his new bus. This bus was special in a strange sort of way --- it had all these muppet characters all over it, like Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggie, Cookie Monster, and Oscar the Grouch. Even so, he made an agreement, so he climbed into the driver seat, and off he went.
...At the 1st stop, 2 very heavy women entered the bus. Each introduced herself as "Patty". The driver told them to sit down, and they continued on.
...At the 2nd stop, a lady with a boy named Ross got on the boss. She went on and on and on and on about how great and special her little Ross was to her. The driver, a little impatient now, told them to find a seat, and they drove on.
...At the 3rd stop, a barefoot man named Lester Sheets walked in. The bus driver reminded him that company policy stated he must have shoes on to ride the bus. Lester begged and begged and begged, saying that the bunions on his feet hurt a lot, and that he had no other way to get to where
he needed to go. The driver sighed, and agreed, and on they drove.
...The driver look in his rear view and saw Lester picking his feet on the bus.
...That was it, that was enough for him. He stopped the boss,
made everyone leave, and returned to the bus lot. He went up to the personnel office, and told them, "I really am quitting this time, and you can't make me come back."
...They asked why.
...He replied, "Because you gave me 2 obese patties, special Ross, Lester Sheets, pickin' his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"
Here is my favorite joke. Give me your best clean joke.?
LOL! I like that 1! I think I heard it before. Here's 1:
There were a Catholic priest, a Muslim cleric, %26amp; a Jewish Rabi discussing methods of dealing with offerings collected in their religious institutions. The Catholic priest explained that in their parish they draw a circle on the ground %26amp; throw the money collected into the air. "Whatever falls into the circle is God's; the rest we keep."
The Muslim cleric said, "We do something similar. We draw a line on the ground %26amp; throw the money in the air. Whatever lands on the right of the line is God's; the money that lands on the left is for us to keep."
The Jewish rabi explained, "We simply throw the money into the air. Whatever God wants, He can keep; the money that comes down is ours."
Reply:GUD JOKE
Reply:why did michael jackson go to the super market? because he heard little boys pants were half off (lol)
Reply:Little Johnny took.....
A BATH.
Reply:I don't get it....
=(
Reply:My Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this real slow, because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Tennessee family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days, and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; -- your Uncle Billy-Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the big buttons on, so we had to cut them off. You can find them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. It's the dangdest thing, but the baby looks just like your oldest brother.
Uncle Bobby-Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; -- he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends, Cletus and Buford, were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt, Mom
Reply:okay there was a zebra and he didn't know whether he was black with white stripes or white with black stripes. So one day he decides to ask all of his friends. He asked the lion, the giraffe, the alligator, and the panda. The panda told him to go to the highest mountain and ask god. So the zebra was on his way to the highest mountain. Finally he asked God, " God am i black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" God told him you are what you are son. The zebra was angry with God's response and took off. He passed the panda and the panda asked, " So did you get your answer? The zebra said no all he told me was you are what you are. There you go said the panda you're white with black stripes. How do you know, said the zebra. Because said the panda if you were black with white stipes he would of said you is what you is. haha
Reply:huh??
Reply:My Uncle in portugal knew this portuguese man who told many stories and claimed he could speak all sorts of languages giving the impression that he was a very all around knowledgable guy, Everyone in town believed him, saying hey look,"Armando knows good english!He can speak very good! and at the time knowing more than one language in a town meant you had some good education.
- So one day they were all in town together with his buddies at a portuguese bar and there were some englishmen at the bar who had arrived and they were having some trouble ordering a beer,
some portuguese buds and my uncle took notice and told Armando, " hey look those guys need some help ordering a beer, maybe you can help them out
So Armando said" Okay, no problem"
Armando went over to meet the englishmen and said
"BUENAS NOCHES AMIGOS!" (SPANISH FOR ''GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS")
the englishmens just stared blank at armando
suddenly the whole portuguese bar was filled with portuguese yells and laughter with my uncle and his buds saying this guy doesnt know anything!!!HES JUST A LIAR
EVERYTHNG HE SAID WAS A LIE,
JUST A BIG LIARR LOL
Reply:I'm sorry I just don't get it?
(I read this one earlier today)
Flowers and Candy-$30
Dinner and a movie-$90
Penthouse in the grand hotel-$300
The look on his face when you tell him your on your period -priceless!!!!
Reply:That was a lot of reading for a poor ending...
Reply:That's not really funny.
Anyway..here's one of mine
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon the guy's passing the entrance test, St. Peter says. "I'm not very busy today, so why don't you let me show you around?"
The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria, and finally, they come to a huge room full of clocks.
The guy asks, "What's up with these clocks?"
St. Peter explains, "Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged." The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why that is so. St. Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his clock."
This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "What is the story with that clock?"
"Oh, that." St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a ceiling fan."
Reply:sorry but I don't get it.
Reply:if someone is making fun of your outfit and looking at you say
you: do you work at walmart?
them: No
You: Then why are you checking me out?
Reply:how to keep a blonde amused all day. Put her in a round room, and tell her to sit in the corner!
hair care
URGENT! Dog problems!!! i need help fast!?
I need help with training my dog! He's so CRAZY...and now my parents want to give him away cause he's so out of control.
He's a corgi-sheltie mix and is 10 months old
He always jumps up on people and ALWAYS bites your ankles or you pants or shirts. He also bites A LOT.... and barks A LOT. Lately, he's started to climb up on tables an chairs and grabs stuff on it...like he ripped up a DVD case and a bunch of our shoes.
I can tell my parents are planning to give him away soon...so i need to change his behavior fast! HELP! PLEASE! I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!
Also....could the tips be something I can do by myself...like something a teenager can do by herself. PLEASE? HELP!
URGENT! Dog problems!!! i need help fast!?
I am sorry, but I laughed as I read that. I have a young lab, and I can just picture what is going on, because I have lived (and still am) through it!
Here's the number one thing you can do on your own. Take him out to exercise A LOT. I don't mean just walking around the neighborhood. Take him for a run, find an enclosed field and play fetch. He has a lot of energy...it will be much easier to train (and he will be far less destructive,) if he is worn out.
Second, keep exciting items put away. Don't leave DVDs or shoes or remotes or food or pens or cell phones (hehehe...can you tell my dog likes to destroy my stuff?) within his reach. When you catch him doing something inappropriate (on the counters, table, chewing, etc.) a firm "no," should help out.
For the biting and jumping. (I asked a question about this the other day...if you would like to have a look.) Do not allow it. If he does it, say no, and turn away. If he continues...shut yourself in a room until he calms down. This technique has worked wonders (and I've only been doing it for 2 days,) with my lab.
Finally, ask your parents if they could enroll you and the dog in some type of obedience class....perhaps that can be your xmas gift. :) Good luck!
Reply:Walk into a local pet store and sign up for obedience class.
Do a google search on "positive reinforcement dog training".
Read the book "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Positive Dog Training".
ALL dogs need training. You should have started with your dog a long time ago.
Reply:the dog needs training. also, it depends upon the age of the dog, just like a baby, puppies make alot of noise and have alot of energy. but the reward of a trained pup is a lifetime of happiness. dogs are awesome!
Reply:Well, liek the person above said, you can take it to an obedience class. Also, whenever he does something naughty, like the ankle biting, tell him no, and hit his nose. [[ not hard, but good enough so he doesnt do it again!]] About the barking, uhh, try locking him up if he barks too often, and put a blanket over the cage, so he can't tell if anybody is in the room, ect. Hope this helps you! :) Good luck!
Reply:Sounds like a sheltie to me sweetie. You should have given more thought to whathaving a pet entails. Did you research the breed at all?
If he is 10 months old he should have began basic puppy obidence 4 months ago.
All I can reccomend is taking him to a class ASAP, my dogs all started at 6 months, they need to know who is in charge and how to behave.
Reply:Hey, all you need to do is give your pup some basic training and he'll be a perfect dog.
If he jumps on you; just ignore him. When he gets down; give him lots of praise. Keep doing that and he'll learn. All they want is your attention and by you going mad at him when he jumps on you, in his eyes, he has got what he wanted. So praise good behaivour not the bad ones.
With biting, use something with a bad taste, like a LITTLE bit of chilli sauce or the stuff you put on your nails to stop biting them! Put a bit of that on your ankles, clothes or wherever, and when he goes to bite you, he'll get a yukky taste in his mouth and, with any luck, eventually stop biting. Again, the instant he stops biting you, give him lots of praise so that he associates good behaivour with a pat on the head.
Barking you can train almost the same way. When he barks, ignore him, when he stops baring tell him "no bark" and then praise him.
This will all take a bit of time and patience, but when you get there, you'll be grateful that you invested the time in him.
Good luck :)
Reply:I'm thirteen and what I did with my dogs when they tried that was get a squirt gun and squirt them while they do the behavior saying no sternly.
Reply:Thats gonna be hard to do quickly. I'm no expert but i've got a couple suggestions. I'm sure some of the others on here will give a better answer. there are some very knowledgable folks on here.
Is he crate trained? He definitely needs to be if he's not. Has he been neutered? Is he getting lots of exercise. Sounds like that may be some anxiety with not knowing what to do with himself. Lots of exercise will start to help quickly. The jumping just takes time and consistency. Thats the hard part, you can never slip up, if you let him get away with it it'll just reinforce the bad behaviour. Do you know any basics of dog training? Sounds like you may want to get a book or something. There are some really helpful books to introduce you to dog training.
Those are all very common issues with young dogs but the training should've started about 8 months ago. Obedience training takes time and patience. See if there are any classes in your area. Not the petco ones but the real ones. That'd be a good place to start. Good Luck.
Reply:You should try a shock collar, i know it sounds cruel, but it worked wonders for my crazy dog, we have only had to use it a couple of times and the rest of the time you just have to point any controller at her and she immediately stops whatever she is doing wrong, she doesn't jump or bite anymore and she stays in our yard without a leash. we also have her crate trained and she stays in there when we are sleeping or gone, we have started letting her stay out when we are only gone for a hour or so and she is doing good, she is almost a year old and we only started using the collar a couple of months ago, i would definitely give that a shot. Hope this helps. i know what you are going through, my dog chewed a hole in the carpet and we almost had to get rid of her.
Reply:You have a mixture of herding breeds. Give the dog a job to do to expel the energy and frustration. Enroll the pup in an obedience class. Give it plenty of exercise.
Reply:Sounds like you've got quite the high-strung dog! I have a Jack Russell Terrier and used to have some of the same problems with her, as far as biting and incessant barking.
He's only acting this way because he doesn't know any better, not necessarily because he's a bad dog. Corgis and Shelties are both very high energy dogs and require a lot of excercise and attention. See if your parents will let you enroll him in obedience classes so that you can learn how to handle him. =)
Reply:All of the things you are describing are training issues.
This is the way many dogs behave when they are not trained.
He is not crazy or bad, he is being a dominant dog in a household with no limits.
Take him to training classes. If you can drive, you can do it.
Or have your mom drive you.
You need to learn to talk "dog language" so you can train him in a manner he can understand.
Reply:ur dog just needs basic obedience training.. if u cant train the pup urself, talk to ur parents about odedience classes..every dog has to be trained, some more than others. dogs are just like children..they need to learn right from wrong or else theyll do as they please and run free.
good luck!
Reply:Ok, bottom line your dog need discipline and obedience. First thing to remember, making your dog behave is NOT a punishment. You have rules, so should your dog. You may think you hurt his feelings, would you let a baby touch a stove just because you don't want to hurt his feelings? This is the way you have to look at disciplining your dog.
I would strongly suggest going to a library or the book store, there are lots of books on training your dog but I can give you the basics. I have raised and trainded alot of dogs.
First the biting. It is partly normal for a puppy to bite but look at how you play with him. Do you dangle your fingers in his face, grab him by the face and push him when you play, let him bite you during play time? This encourages the behavior, stop immediately. When he tries to bite during play time, dangle a tuggy or throw a ball for him, distract his behavior with something else.
Start immediately with obedience, take him to classes if you can but teach him to come, sit and stay immediately, should be done in several 3 or 4 minute sessions a day. When you feed, give treats, let him outside, put on his leash, or just when you go to pick him up make him SIT!
When he knows sit, set him up into situations where you know he will jump on someone, have a long leash on him. As he goes to jump, have the person with the leash GENTLY jerk him down while you say NO JUMP!! You can also reach down and grab the skin and fur on either side of his neck just below the ears. You have good control that way, it's a good way to discipline, push him into a sitting position and make him stay until he calms down. Remember to say Good Dog and lots of praising when he does well.
The same can be done for barking, set him up in a situation where you have control and know he's going to bark. Immediately say NO BARK! Grab his neck or squirt him with a water bottle but don't continue that if he enjoys it.
The biggest way you are going to have a well behaved dog is constant work every day. Making him listen to you little times each day will long term develope into a happy relationship because he respects you and others enjoy being around him. Also right now you must remember HE IS A PUPPY! Especially if he hasn't had much training before now he is behind in his development. Diligence on your part is key. Pick up those shoes and other things, prevention is huge right now until he becomes a well behaved adult. If you can't watch him, if you are busy, he needs to be crated. Limit the mischief and therefor not reinforcing bad behavior.
Hope that helps some, go do some reading or take a class and feel free to email me if you want to know more. Good Luck!
freckles
He's a corgi-sheltie mix and is 10 months old
He always jumps up on people and ALWAYS bites your ankles or you pants or shirts. He also bites A LOT.... and barks A LOT. Lately, he's started to climb up on tables an chairs and grabs stuff on it...like he ripped up a DVD case and a bunch of our shoes.
I can tell my parents are planning to give him away soon...so i need to change his behavior fast! HELP! PLEASE! I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!
Also....could the tips be something I can do by myself...like something a teenager can do by herself. PLEASE? HELP!
URGENT! Dog problems!!! i need help fast!?
I am sorry, but I laughed as I read that. I have a young lab, and I can just picture what is going on, because I have lived (and still am) through it!
Here's the number one thing you can do on your own. Take him out to exercise A LOT. I don't mean just walking around the neighborhood. Take him for a run, find an enclosed field and play fetch. He has a lot of energy...it will be much easier to train (and he will be far less destructive,) if he is worn out.
Second, keep exciting items put away. Don't leave DVDs or shoes or remotes or food or pens or cell phones (hehehe...can you tell my dog likes to destroy my stuff?) within his reach. When you catch him doing something inappropriate (on the counters, table, chewing, etc.) a firm "no," should help out.
For the biting and jumping. (I asked a question about this the other day...if you would like to have a look.) Do not allow it. If he does it, say no, and turn away. If he continues...shut yourself in a room until he calms down. This technique has worked wonders (and I've only been doing it for 2 days,) with my lab.
Finally, ask your parents if they could enroll you and the dog in some type of obedience class....perhaps that can be your xmas gift. :) Good luck!
Reply:Walk into a local pet store and sign up for obedience class.
Do a google search on "positive reinforcement dog training".
Read the book "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Positive Dog Training".
ALL dogs need training. You should have started with your dog a long time ago.
Reply:the dog needs training. also, it depends upon the age of the dog, just like a baby, puppies make alot of noise and have alot of energy. but the reward of a trained pup is a lifetime of happiness. dogs are awesome!
Reply:Well, liek the person above said, you can take it to an obedience class. Also, whenever he does something naughty, like the ankle biting, tell him no, and hit his nose. [[ not hard, but good enough so he doesnt do it again!]] About the barking, uhh, try locking him up if he barks too often, and put a blanket over the cage, so he can't tell if anybody is in the room, ect. Hope this helps you! :) Good luck!
Reply:Sounds like a sheltie to me sweetie. You should have given more thought to whathaving a pet entails. Did you research the breed at all?
If he is 10 months old he should have began basic puppy obidence 4 months ago.
All I can reccomend is taking him to a class ASAP, my dogs all started at 6 months, they need to know who is in charge and how to behave.
Reply:Hey, all you need to do is give your pup some basic training and he'll be a perfect dog.
If he jumps on you; just ignore him. When he gets down; give him lots of praise. Keep doing that and he'll learn. All they want is your attention and by you going mad at him when he jumps on you, in his eyes, he has got what he wanted. So praise good behaivour not the bad ones.
With biting, use something with a bad taste, like a LITTLE bit of chilli sauce or the stuff you put on your nails to stop biting them! Put a bit of that on your ankles, clothes or wherever, and when he goes to bite you, he'll get a yukky taste in his mouth and, with any luck, eventually stop biting. Again, the instant he stops biting you, give him lots of praise so that he associates good behaivour with a pat on the head.
Barking you can train almost the same way. When he barks, ignore him, when he stops baring tell him "no bark" and then praise him.
This will all take a bit of time and patience, but when you get there, you'll be grateful that you invested the time in him.
Good luck :)
Reply:I'm thirteen and what I did with my dogs when they tried that was get a squirt gun and squirt them while they do the behavior saying no sternly.
Reply:Thats gonna be hard to do quickly. I'm no expert but i've got a couple suggestions. I'm sure some of the others on here will give a better answer. there are some very knowledgable folks on here.
Is he crate trained? He definitely needs to be if he's not. Has he been neutered? Is he getting lots of exercise. Sounds like that may be some anxiety with not knowing what to do with himself. Lots of exercise will start to help quickly. The jumping just takes time and consistency. Thats the hard part, you can never slip up, if you let him get away with it it'll just reinforce the bad behaviour. Do you know any basics of dog training? Sounds like you may want to get a book or something. There are some really helpful books to introduce you to dog training.
Those are all very common issues with young dogs but the training should've started about 8 months ago. Obedience training takes time and patience. See if there are any classes in your area. Not the petco ones but the real ones. That'd be a good place to start. Good Luck.
Reply:You should try a shock collar, i know it sounds cruel, but it worked wonders for my crazy dog, we have only had to use it a couple of times and the rest of the time you just have to point any controller at her and she immediately stops whatever she is doing wrong, she doesn't jump or bite anymore and she stays in our yard without a leash. we also have her crate trained and she stays in there when we are sleeping or gone, we have started letting her stay out when we are only gone for a hour or so and she is doing good, she is almost a year old and we only started using the collar a couple of months ago, i would definitely give that a shot. Hope this helps. i know what you are going through, my dog chewed a hole in the carpet and we almost had to get rid of her.
Reply:You have a mixture of herding breeds. Give the dog a job to do to expel the energy and frustration. Enroll the pup in an obedience class. Give it plenty of exercise.
Reply:Sounds like you've got quite the high-strung dog! I have a Jack Russell Terrier and used to have some of the same problems with her, as far as biting and incessant barking.
He's only acting this way because he doesn't know any better, not necessarily because he's a bad dog. Corgis and Shelties are both very high energy dogs and require a lot of excercise and attention. See if your parents will let you enroll him in obedience classes so that you can learn how to handle him. =)
Reply:All of the things you are describing are training issues.
This is the way many dogs behave when they are not trained.
He is not crazy or bad, he is being a dominant dog in a household with no limits.
Take him to training classes. If you can drive, you can do it.
Or have your mom drive you.
You need to learn to talk "dog language" so you can train him in a manner he can understand.
Reply:ur dog just needs basic obedience training.. if u cant train the pup urself, talk to ur parents about odedience classes..every dog has to be trained, some more than others. dogs are just like children..they need to learn right from wrong or else theyll do as they please and run free.
good luck!
Reply:Ok, bottom line your dog need discipline and obedience. First thing to remember, making your dog behave is NOT a punishment. You have rules, so should your dog. You may think you hurt his feelings, would you let a baby touch a stove just because you don't want to hurt his feelings? This is the way you have to look at disciplining your dog.
I would strongly suggest going to a library or the book store, there are lots of books on training your dog but I can give you the basics. I have raised and trainded alot of dogs.
First the biting. It is partly normal for a puppy to bite but look at how you play with him. Do you dangle your fingers in his face, grab him by the face and push him when you play, let him bite you during play time? This encourages the behavior, stop immediately. When he tries to bite during play time, dangle a tuggy or throw a ball for him, distract his behavior with something else.
Start immediately with obedience, take him to classes if you can but teach him to come, sit and stay immediately, should be done in several 3 or 4 minute sessions a day. When you feed, give treats, let him outside, put on his leash, or just when you go to pick him up make him SIT!
When he knows sit, set him up into situations where you know he will jump on someone, have a long leash on him. As he goes to jump, have the person with the leash GENTLY jerk him down while you say NO JUMP!! You can also reach down and grab the skin and fur on either side of his neck just below the ears. You have good control that way, it's a good way to discipline, push him into a sitting position and make him stay until he calms down. Remember to say Good Dog and lots of praising when he does well.
The same can be done for barking, set him up in a situation where you have control and know he's going to bark. Immediately say NO BARK! Grab his neck or squirt him with a water bottle but don't continue that if he enjoys it.
The biggest way you are going to have a well behaved dog is constant work every day. Making him listen to you little times each day will long term develope into a happy relationship because he respects you and others enjoy being around him. Also right now you must remember HE IS A PUPPY! Especially if he hasn't had much training before now he is behind in his development. Diligence on your part is key. Pick up those shoes and other things, prevention is huge right now until he becomes a well behaved adult. If you can't watch him, if you are busy, he needs to be crated. Limit the mischief and therefor not reinforcing bad behavior.
Hope that helps some, go do some reading or take a class and feel free to email me if you want to know more. Good Luck!
freckles
Middleschool horror story project- did it scare you?
It was private property, but kids used to trespass there all the time. But no one ever trespassed there any more. Not since that kid vanished, not since all of those scary stories and rumors rushed from there in a tidal wave of fear and confusion.
We had never thought twice about the spillway. It never occurred to us to even go there, that was, until we were warned not to.
Jake’s mom told us that we could play anywhere but there. We knew about the kid who vanished there, without a trace. But there was nothing supernatural about it. They could’ve been kidnapped or had fallen in the river. I didn’t understand why his mother believed all of those rumors, I assumed that was why she didn’t want us to go there.
We ran outside, Jake, his sister Mari and I. Mari spread her arms and ran about, imitating an airplane. Jake looked down on her. I laughed and watched.
We stayed close to the house and played for a short while. I was the one who cut the fun short.
“Let’s go to the waterway.” I said.
There was a silence, their young eyes staring wide.
“…Ok,” said Jake after a long pause, covering his fear. He began to walk down the long dirt path. Mari followed obediently, and I picked up my pace to lead the way.
“Aren’t we not allowed?” asked Mari nervously as the spillway came into view.
“No, it’s fine,” I said. The air became very still, yet the leaves stirred and rustled slightly; pulled by tiny invisible strings of air. We climbed over the fence; Jake helped Mari make it over.
The hill behind the fence was steep, weeds and dirt descended into jagged rocks and water.
“This place isn’t scary at all!” bluffed Jake, slipping down the steep muddy path carved down the hill. Small, worn down footprints were already in the mud. Where they the child’s? Or some other trespasser’s? Mari and I followed behind him. We were filled with nervous excitement, perhaps feeling more enjoyment than fear, and fearing breaking the rules more than the place itself. As we reached the stream, we took off our shoes, jumped from rock to rock, playfully dipping our toes into the freezing water and overreacting to the sudden change in temperature. Soon we forgot that anyone had ever vanished there.
Jake stood on one of the lager rocks, beating his chest and crying out a jungle call. Mari laughed and laughed.
“Ok, ok, it wasn’t that funny!” shouted Jake from atop of his rock. Mari continued to laugh. I wondered if she was trying to annoy her brother. She just wouldn’t stop.
Mari continued to laugh for another minute, and Jake was getting angry.
“Shut up!” he yelled.
I glanced at Mari, not really annoyed but puzzled. Then I noticed something odd. She had a troubled look on her face, as if she thought something was wrong, as if she couldn’t control her laughing. Then I noticed that as time passed, her laugh became louder and more hysterical, it began shaking her so hard that she had trouble keeping her balance upon the rock.
“STOP LAUGHING!” Jake called out angrily. He jumped off of his rock and marched angrily to her. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She continued to laugh; it was no use. Jake sighed and let go; but as he let go, she began to fall backwards, not regaining her balance. It happened quicker than any of us could help.
All we could do was watch as the event unfolded, paralyzed, eyes wide, hearts nearly stopped. It happened so fast, yet it felt excruciatingly slow.
Mari’s thin dark hair flew forward as her delicate body fell the opposite direction. As her body met the ground, she bounced back and then settled, her limbs splayed lifelessly across the ground. White, pointed growths shot through her body like bamboo shoots, their tips stained with blood, her clothes dyed red. Her eyes were half open and rolled back into her head. Just when we thought she was dead; she lifted her head as far as her pinned-down body would let her. She opened her mouth and continued to laugh weakly, the spikes moving in and out as her chest expanded and contracted. Each laugh sounded bubbly and liquid as blood gushed from her mouth. And every small laugh was weaker than the last, and soon they died away completely. Her head fell back harshly against the ground, creating a halo of slick, gooey blood around her head. She had died.
“Ahh…AHHHHHHH!” Jake screamed miserably, running blindly up the hill, slipping and scrambling to his feet. He screamed an agonizing, piercing scream that sounded as if he himself were dying. I still couldn’t move, for I was petrified.
I looked up the hill in a daze, averting my eyes from Mari’s corpse. Jake was at the top of the hill, but he seemed to be clawing and fighting the air, as if some invisible thing were standing in his way. I had to run. I had to run. Why couldn’t I run?
“What are you?!” Jake cried, thrashing at the nothingness. Suddenly he was cut short as a huge, gaping hole grew through his back, blood and insides pouring like waterfalls, multiple holes spontaneously emerging through his soft body in all directions until he became a pulp, and fell lifelessly down the hill, head first.
I have to get out. Why couldn’t I get out? My eyes were wide, my heartbeat so hard and pounding that it felt like it would burst. Jake’s headfirst body crashed into the rocks with a sharp cracking noise, his limbs bending in strange directions, his eyes were as wide as mine. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I crouched into an upright fetal position and shook violently.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no” I murmured.
Suddenly, my head lifted up on its own, forcing me to look forward. I couldn’t control it.
It was a grotesque deer-like creature, with massive, deformed antlers that had grown in a gnarled mass; hundreds of points and branches of the antlers intertwined and stuck out like blades. The monster’s face was long and bone white, resembling a skull more than a face. It was oddly human-like, yet not, and it had no eyes, just a shadowy suggestion of an eye on the right side of its face. Its body was much larger than a deer- hairy, bulky yet awkward and thin, bony and stiff, almost zombie-like, with gashes and flesh exposed all over. It smelled like death, looked like death. It looked almost unreal, as if it were a nightmare.
“Who are you?” I asked shakily.
“I am you,” said the beast. Its voice was Mari’s.
Middleschool horror story project- did it scare you?
lol this is pretty interesting but be much better in some ways
insurance
We had never thought twice about the spillway. It never occurred to us to even go there, that was, until we were warned not to.
Jake’s mom told us that we could play anywhere but there. We knew about the kid who vanished there, without a trace. But there was nothing supernatural about it. They could’ve been kidnapped or had fallen in the river. I didn’t understand why his mother believed all of those rumors, I assumed that was why she didn’t want us to go there.
We ran outside, Jake, his sister Mari and I. Mari spread her arms and ran about, imitating an airplane. Jake looked down on her. I laughed and watched.
We stayed close to the house and played for a short while. I was the one who cut the fun short.
“Let’s go to the waterway.” I said.
There was a silence, their young eyes staring wide.
“…Ok,” said Jake after a long pause, covering his fear. He began to walk down the long dirt path. Mari followed obediently, and I picked up my pace to lead the way.
“Aren’t we not allowed?” asked Mari nervously as the spillway came into view.
“No, it’s fine,” I said. The air became very still, yet the leaves stirred and rustled slightly; pulled by tiny invisible strings of air. We climbed over the fence; Jake helped Mari make it over.
The hill behind the fence was steep, weeds and dirt descended into jagged rocks and water.
“This place isn’t scary at all!” bluffed Jake, slipping down the steep muddy path carved down the hill. Small, worn down footprints were already in the mud. Where they the child’s? Or some other trespasser’s? Mari and I followed behind him. We were filled with nervous excitement, perhaps feeling more enjoyment than fear, and fearing breaking the rules more than the place itself. As we reached the stream, we took off our shoes, jumped from rock to rock, playfully dipping our toes into the freezing water and overreacting to the sudden change in temperature. Soon we forgot that anyone had ever vanished there.
Jake stood on one of the lager rocks, beating his chest and crying out a jungle call. Mari laughed and laughed.
“Ok, ok, it wasn’t that funny!” shouted Jake from atop of his rock. Mari continued to laugh. I wondered if she was trying to annoy her brother. She just wouldn’t stop.
Mari continued to laugh for another minute, and Jake was getting angry.
“Shut up!” he yelled.
I glanced at Mari, not really annoyed but puzzled. Then I noticed something odd. She had a troubled look on her face, as if she thought something was wrong, as if she couldn’t control her laughing. Then I noticed that as time passed, her laugh became louder and more hysterical, it began shaking her so hard that she had trouble keeping her balance upon the rock.
“STOP LAUGHING!” Jake called out angrily. He jumped off of his rock and marched angrily to her. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She continued to laugh; it was no use. Jake sighed and let go; but as he let go, she began to fall backwards, not regaining her balance. It happened quicker than any of us could help.
All we could do was watch as the event unfolded, paralyzed, eyes wide, hearts nearly stopped. It happened so fast, yet it felt excruciatingly slow.
Mari’s thin dark hair flew forward as her delicate body fell the opposite direction. As her body met the ground, she bounced back and then settled, her limbs splayed lifelessly across the ground. White, pointed growths shot through her body like bamboo shoots, their tips stained with blood, her clothes dyed red. Her eyes were half open and rolled back into her head. Just when we thought she was dead; she lifted her head as far as her pinned-down body would let her. She opened her mouth and continued to laugh weakly, the spikes moving in and out as her chest expanded and contracted. Each laugh sounded bubbly and liquid as blood gushed from her mouth. And every small laugh was weaker than the last, and soon they died away completely. Her head fell back harshly against the ground, creating a halo of slick, gooey blood around her head. She had died.
“Ahh…AHHHHHHH!” Jake screamed miserably, running blindly up the hill, slipping and scrambling to his feet. He screamed an agonizing, piercing scream that sounded as if he himself were dying. I still couldn’t move, for I was petrified.
I looked up the hill in a daze, averting my eyes from Mari’s corpse. Jake was at the top of the hill, but he seemed to be clawing and fighting the air, as if some invisible thing were standing in his way. I had to run. I had to run. Why couldn’t I run?
“What are you?!” Jake cried, thrashing at the nothingness. Suddenly he was cut short as a huge, gaping hole grew through his back, blood and insides pouring like waterfalls, multiple holes spontaneously emerging through his soft body in all directions until he became a pulp, and fell lifelessly down the hill, head first.
I have to get out. Why couldn’t I get out? My eyes were wide, my heartbeat so hard and pounding that it felt like it would burst. Jake’s headfirst body crashed into the rocks with a sharp cracking noise, his limbs bending in strange directions, his eyes were as wide as mine. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I crouched into an upright fetal position and shook violently.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no” I murmured.
Suddenly, my head lifted up on its own, forcing me to look forward. I couldn’t control it.
It was a grotesque deer-like creature, with massive, deformed antlers that had grown in a gnarled mass; hundreds of points and branches of the antlers intertwined and stuck out like blades. The monster’s face was long and bone white, resembling a skull more than a face. It was oddly human-like, yet not, and it had no eyes, just a shadowy suggestion of an eye on the right side of its face. Its body was much larger than a deer- hairy, bulky yet awkward and thin, bony and stiff, almost zombie-like, with gashes and flesh exposed all over. It smelled like death, looked like death. It looked almost unreal, as if it were a nightmare.
“Who are you?” I asked shakily.
“I am you,” said the beast. Its voice was Mari’s.
Middleschool horror story project- did it scare you?
lol this is pretty interesting but be much better in some ways
insurance
Poll: What would you say...?
I climbed up the door and opened the stairs,
Said my pajamas and put on my prayers,
Then I turned off the bed and crawled into the light,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
Next morning I woke up and scrambled my shoes,
Picked up my eggs and toasted the news,
I couldn't tell my left from right,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
That evening at last I felt normal again,
So I picked up my mother and called the phone,
I spoke to the puppy and threw Dad a bone,
Even at midnight the sun was still bright,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
Do you think this is any good?
Thanks!! ^_^
Poll: What would you say...?
WOW!! I love it I think its wonderful. I think good is kind of short to describe it. The lyrics are so awsome. I really really to hear in the radio someday.
4Real you are so talented!!
Reply:Threw dad a bone? lol
This is good.
You have talent, I can tell.
Do you write a lot of poems?
I would like to read more of what you've written.
Mike J
You're in my contacts, I don't know if I'm one of yours.
Reply:thats really cool, give us another!! xx made me smile... who gave you the kiss goodnight???
Reply:It's ok.
Reply:Sounds like something spike milligan would have wrote.
Reply:I like it. It says it all.
Reply:did you write that??
really good!
Reply:yeah thats awesome! did you make that?
Reply:Very good matey, got any more?
Reply:That is brilliant, sounds like a person truly in love.
Reply:That is so sweet!
If it is your own work, then it is really beautiful! You are gifted!!
lotsa luck! xxx
Reply:I think its Brilliant, did you write this, just brilliant....you are something else......love...
Reply:that is EXCELLENT!! i loved it.
Reply:I think it was a fun poem.
Reply:I'd say you didn't press spellchecker before you submitted. Now that tends to kinda negate your question some; is what I would say.
Reply:Wow! That was really good!!! You're very talented!
Your Welcome! ^_^
Reply:yes it is good. lol.
=]
Reply:That was really cute. I love it!
Reply:yeah that was really good but i liked that saying did you make that up or did you find that on the internet
Reply:young, swimmer, poet, lover, and British (Scottish)..... you are a man that is in extinction!
Today , the British men are really stupids. You are an exception!
it's really OK!
Kisses from Wales, UK.
Reply:Yeah its great!!! You've got talent
Reply:Yes I do. Made me smile and read it through to the very end.
I found it oddly touching.
Reply:Nice piece.!
-Published Poet
Reply:It's alright actually. Better than some of the deluded stuff that people are brave enough to type on here.
Reply:its ok lol
not the best ... but its up there ... definately my top 10
Reply:i love youre poem, did you write it youre self
Reply:I think it's awesome! =P
Reply:I love it! I think that it's totally sweet, and really cute. Whoever you wrote this for is one really lucky girl.
Reply:i luv it. i really do!!
Reply:It is so good you make me want to be bad
Reply:That should be a song!
maintenance repairs
Said my pajamas and put on my prayers,
Then I turned off the bed and crawled into the light,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
Next morning I woke up and scrambled my shoes,
Picked up my eggs and toasted the news,
I couldn't tell my left from right,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
That evening at last I felt normal again,
So I picked up my mother and called the phone,
I spoke to the puppy and threw Dad a bone,
Even at midnight the sun was still bright,
All becuz you kissed me goodnight!
Do you think this is any good?
Thanks!! ^_^
Poll: What would you say...?
WOW!! I love it I think its wonderful. I think good is kind of short to describe it. The lyrics are so awsome. I really really to hear in the radio someday.
4Real you are so talented!!
Reply:Threw dad a bone? lol
This is good.
You have talent, I can tell.
Do you write a lot of poems?
I would like to read more of what you've written.
Mike J
You're in my contacts, I don't know if I'm one of yours.
Reply:thats really cool, give us another!! xx made me smile... who gave you the kiss goodnight???
Reply:It's ok.
Reply:Sounds like something spike milligan would have wrote.
Reply:I like it. It says it all.
Reply:did you write that??
really good!
Reply:yeah thats awesome! did you make that?
Reply:Very good matey, got any more?
Reply:That is brilliant, sounds like a person truly in love.
Reply:That is so sweet!
If it is your own work, then it is really beautiful! You are gifted!!
lotsa luck! xxx
Reply:I think its Brilliant, did you write this, just brilliant....you are something else......love...
Reply:that is EXCELLENT!! i loved it.
Reply:I think it was a fun poem.
Reply:I'd say you didn't press spellchecker before you submitted. Now that tends to kinda negate your question some; is what I would say.
Reply:Wow! That was really good!!! You're very talented!
Your Welcome! ^_^
Reply:yes it is good. lol.
=]
Reply:That was really cute. I love it!
Reply:yeah that was really good but i liked that saying did you make that up or did you find that on the internet
Reply:young, swimmer, poet, lover, and British (Scottish)..... you are a man that is in extinction!
Today , the British men are really stupids. You are an exception!
it's really OK!
Kisses from Wales, UK.
Reply:Yeah its great!!! You've got talent
Reply:Yes I do. Made me smile and read it through to the very end.
I found it oddly touching.
Reply:Nice piece.!
-Published Poet
Reply:It's alright actually. Better than some of the deluded stuff that people are brave enough to type on here.
Reply:its ok lol
not the best ... but its up there ... definately my top 10
Reply:i love youre poem, did you write it youre self
Reply:I think it's awesome! =P
Reply:I love it! I think that it's totally sweet, and really cute. Whoever you wrote this for is one really lucky girl.
Reply:i luv it. i really do!!
Reply:It is so good you make me want to be bad
Reply:That should be a song!
maintenance repairs
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