my daughter, age 4, has always been more active than my son, age 9, ever was. She is especially hyper when excited about something, or when we have company. She often will, quite literally, bounce around the room, and from person to person, climbing on people, climbing off, giggling, jumping, etc.
She is very needy of physical contact with others, and will often come up to me and touch me, or touch my face, or want to look at parts of my face with great interest (ie. the mole below my ear is a great fascination to her, or my crooked tooth.)
She is very talkative, and will come up to me and start conversations without having anything to say. ie. "mommy, um, mommy.... um uh mommy, um mommy, " It is almost like she wants to talk for the sake of talking. Quite often when she does say something other than "mommy", she will obsess on a particular topic. ie. for the two week christmas break, every chance she got she reminded me that when she is 6 her friend was going to sleep over at our house. She would carry on in great detail (and with great repetition) about all of the details of this event that is far off in the future.
She also is very intelligent, and has an excellent memory of stories and lyrics to songs that she may have only heard one or two times. She is very good at memory games, and practises them sometimes obsessively, until she gets better and better (ie, such as games on her leap pad).
She also has the nasty habit of picking her nails and skin around her nails until they bleed. We have tried to get her to stop this, but she even does it in her sleep. One month ago, her thumb became very infected and required medical treatment after one such "picking" injury. She also puts non food objects in her mouth (This had stopped when she turned 2, but returned again just a few months before her 4th birthday). ie. she will chew her collar, sleeve, ties on her jacket, her mitten, small toy animals, the plastic "eggs" inside of a KinderEgg, a piece of paper, her shoe, etc.
For the past two or three weeks, she has started making a "sniffling" noise all the time, and has started "clearing her throat" on a regular basis. (both are unproductive) There doesn't seem to be a cold or sinus problem of any kind, and her nose is not running. I am considering taking her to the doctor for allergy tests, but there is no evidence other than the "noise" of sniffling and throat clearing.
When she was younger, we thought she might be autistic, because she would have very intense periods of concentration that would last for 45 to 90 minutes at a time. She would kind of "zone out" when engaging in certain play activities (ie. doing a puzzle, repetetively covering up a dolly with a blanket) If you interrupted her in these activities she would become physically agitated and angry and would fight to get back to the activity. She still gets in a "zone" like this often, but not as frequently as before, and she doesn't get quite so agitated if you gently interrupt her zone. Also, she has good eye contact, and plays with her peers quite well.
The daycare hasn't pointed out any problems to us. Her kindergarten teacher said she has noticed that she has a bossy side when interacting with her peers.
Sometimes the looks she gives me are disturbing. If she doesn't like what I tell her, or if she wants me to do something for her and I tell her she will have to wait a few moments, she sometimes gets this very angry look in her eyes, grits her teeth, and pushes her fists towards me. She holds this pose for about 15 seconds and growls and grits her teeth at me the whole time. She always is very apologetic afterwards, but still wants her way. I can actually remember her doing a version of this when she was an infant and I would be breast feeding her. If she coudn't get the milk, or couldn't latch on right away, her fists would grab me and she would literally "shake" with anger.
I am not sure what to make of this. Is this normal behaviour for a 4 year old? I can't really tell. I should mention that my older son has Asperger's, so I am not really sure what normal 4 year old behaviour should look like. She is certainly MUCH more outgoing, social and agressive than my son ever was (or likely ever will be!).
Thank you for any input you may have - I have read some web sites about ADHD, but it is hard for me to judge whether my daughter's behaviour fit into the criteria or not. They don't seem to me to fit the Asperger's or ASD critera. Also, most of the descriptions of OCD don't ring true. Your opinions are appreciated.
Does this sound like ADHD or not?
At age 4 it's normal behavior. ADHD is more easy to identify when children are around 7. I got diagnosed when it was a little too late to get 'reprogrammed' or whatever term you want to use. It was around 10 years old and I'd already lived with it too long to get that behavior out of my mind.
Reply:You are one lucky mother. I read everything in detail and she is exactly like my younger daughter. My husband and I would say, oh gawd... OCD or ADD or Busy Body to joke with her... but, she would get upset with us and pinch me with a tantrum knowing I was making fun... so, I stopped.
Your daughter is self stimulating herself with obsessive compulsive little things because she is so incredibly smart... and her brain is so into concentrating on the why and how things are... that she self stimulates what you feel is overbearing behavior.
It's clash of the personalities. I wish I could be in your home swinging her in circles and answering her questions and reading stories aloud to her... what a treat to know she is a smart one at this stage that will go away as quickly and fleeting as life is.
You are SO blessed. Do not take it for granted and lighten up. Let loose. Don't control her and find things to do with her. Keep up.
My daughter is now a GATE student, straight A's and still has all of those behaviors but more mature at age 11 now.
Hug her, laugh with her, get her involved in physical sports, and let her touch your face and examine it. Get her plenty of art supplies and let her have at it. Make her clean up with you, too.
Again, how lucky you are. What a joy that she can giggle and climb and act so happy to be.
Just happy to be. She is a reminder that we could all be happy to be.
As an FYI, I specialize in waking up Autistic kids, and my first case was a 7 year old with Aspergers, and ADD/ADHD is nothing but the top of the spectrum of Autism... So, thanks be... if your daughter is any of these thiings, message me. She will be fine.
Hooray for your daughter. I'm sure there are plenty of pediatric psychiatrists willing to shut her in a box... The first case I had was a 7 year old Aspergers case who had a Schitzophrenic break down from drug interactions because of being drugged since four and ended up 2 weeks away from an institution for the rest of his life.
He graduated the 5th grade drug free as a GATE student after I got done with him.
Reply:I'm sorry i gave up after the first paragraph....
Reply:Please don't worry or label her yet. I know it's hard not to worry!
People honestly can't "know" if it's ADD/ADHD until a child reaches middleschool.
Right now just know that you have a rambunctious, intelligent, bossy, engaging, 4 year old.
And mention your concerns to the pediatrician next time you are in to see her/him.
Best!
Reply:I would not think that she is ADHD. Sure she is smart granted that.
Considering how my future step-daughter aged 4 will be when I get married. Sounds like got the similar effect you decribed except the bossy side showed up at home rather than with peers, she has a shyness like you wouldn't believe with anything she mets for the first time, only natural for her. Active imagaination and everything.
I am not good at explaining this about childrens behaviour but logically I would suspect diet be the main factor to determine if this is ADHD and the first step I would address for her hyperactivity as my first point I wanted to say.
If you would take the time to take a list of the food you provided for her, determine what products she takes and then this will eventually (don't give up here when you have to sort out that many items) you will then know what chemicals that gets into her system. Use the internet to work out or some books are made that saves the time. Sometimes the child's body defence system could not handle the pressure OR causes the child body to develop more excessive sugar or metabolism than normal.
So, after that the next step is to remove some goods / items from her diet and see what happens by trail and error. this goes for alot of things including sleep (sometime needing quiet classical music or flutes lullaby at night). I was hyperactive myself when I was younger. I get really excited when I am given these things then I found out when I got older that my body adjusted or "learnt" to overcome. With children, teaching that is tricky, believe me.
Second point is to find out more for yourself about muscle testing (available on the internet to learn this) so then you can ask your child's body (via muscle testing) what is the issue with food or behaviour. This is a gentle way without harm to the child's unconsious to provide you, yes/no/maybe answers so you can logically see if the food are affecting the behaviour.
I can across this one day from a guy who does kinseology and received surprising results I had not thought about regarding what I eat affect my health. So I recalled asking him about asking children and he said you can act as a conductor to ask your child the issues affecting them. So I am thinking once you know which food is issue, you can ask your child's body to verify this, nothing like an honest truthful answer.
I reckon when your done this give you alot of breathing space and peace of mind.
If you want more information, send me a mail.
Reply:I don't really think that it sounds like ADHD. ADHD kids have a hard time staying on task and probably would not be able to spend so much time doing an activity such as a puzzle. Your daughter just sounds like she is very intelligent and inquisitive.
ADHD isn't usually diagnosed until around 7 and they are displaying symptoms in more than one environment (such as school and home.) At least that is what I have read.
Reply:Our Aspergers specialist told us that ADD is a sub symptom of Aspergers syndrome. I was going to say this before I read your older child has this, which is hereditary condition.
I am told no two kids with Aspergers acts alike. This specialist gave us a paper with all the sub symptoms on it too. We have a very good hospital in Salem Oregon I am told is one of the leaders in studying this autistic condition. It would be nice to go over there and have them check out my son. See what they have to say.
It is very hard to tell what a "normal" child is supposed to be like when one has more then one child who does things a little different (oldest 16 youngest 11 with one in the middle). My three kids all have health problems so sorry to say but I do not know what the realm of a "normal" kid is supposed to be. Or if there is such a thing?
If I were you just treat her as a Aspergers kid. My son takes no medication for his so your little girl has nothing to worry about as far as drugs go.
Good luck and reading your story sounds like what life has been like with our kids.....Well except the always touching part but it has been a while since these guys were so little.
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